Sailor Bish
by Hyper-Fangirls-Without-Sleep
Summary: Gourry Gabriev is just an ordinary high school jock until something turns his life upside down and drag-in' around. A Sailor Moon retelling that is original and hillarious. Chapter Seven Up! Sailor Venus Attacks! And Zel uses his bubbles!
1. JellyFish and Rock

A/N- Well let's be honest here, you've seen so many stories like this, but we feel ours is unique. We combine a lot of animes, though Slayers is essentially the main one, and unlike most fics like this, we aren't directly following the Sailor Moon story line. We'll deviate. It's no fun if we don't. The main animes in this fic are Slayers, Rurouni Kenshin, Cowboy Bebop, Fushigi Yuugi, Pokemon, Utena, Magic User's Club, Gundam Wing, and Card Captor Sakura. There are a few more, but ya know those are the main ones.****

**Baka Publishing In Association with Jellyfish Productions Present....**

**"Bishounen Senshi Sailor Bish!"**

**_Part 1:_**

**_Soldiers_**

**_And One and Two..._**

**_(Senshi: To Ichi To Ni)_**

Writing By Kelly O'Connor (KellyChan)

With assistance in the minor characters by Bethany Eshnaur (Robochar)

Original Concept By Kelly O'Connor, Bethany Oxley, and Bethany Eshnaur.

_**Fighting Evil By Moonlight!**_

_**Eating chicken by daylight**_

_**Always ready for a real fight**_

_**They are the one's named Sailor Bish!**_

_**They will never turn their backs on their friends**_

_**They are always there to defend**_

_**But they think sailor briefs feel like Depends!__TM**_

_**They are the one's named Sailor Bish**_

_**Sailor Moon**_

_"Umm... What was my line again."_

_**Sailor Mercury**_

_"Bubbles? Damn you Re-- Well Just damn you!"_

_**Secret Powers oh so new to them**_

_**Bishounen who are called Sailor Bish**_

_**To wear their skirts they must now keep trim**_

_**Magical Boys Named Sailor Bish!**_

_**They are the one's Sailor Bish!**_

~~()~~

                "Hey Zel?" a young blonde man said as he tapped his feet.

                "Yes Gourry,"  another young man looked up from the book he was reading.

                "I'm bored, let's go out to eat," Gourry said as he tapped his fingers.

                "That's because you have severe attention deficit problems," Zel said.

                "Huh?"

                "Never mind Gourry," Zel sighed, "Gourry some of us just don't eat for fun. Besides I'm reading and you know I don't like going out in public unless I have too. I'll go to school because everybody knows me there and I'll go to the library because everybody knows me there, and I'll.... because I don't really have a choice."

                "You're at the top of the class in every exam Zel, you don't need to study," Gourry looked down at the title of Zel's book, "Herbal Cures for Magical Conditions," he made sure and pronounced the 'h' on herbal, "Oh you aren't studying, you're still looking for that cure of yours... You wanna order a pizza?"

                "Yes Gourry I'm still looking for a cure, and pizza is fine.  Personal pan with olives and extra cheese please," Zel said setting his book down momentarily. He headed over to the window and pulled open the blinds. "The sky looks strange tonight, it's like bright yellow." Gourry walked over to the window.

                "Looks like my hair, earlier today it looked like your skin, nice and blue," he said bluntly. Zel looked at him angrily.

                "Gourry!! If you weren't my best friend... I'd... Oh never mind!" he said and headed over to call in the pizza. Twelve cheese pizzas five meat lovers and one personal pan with olives and extra cheese.

                "Gee Zel, It's a good thing your great grandpa left you so much money, otherwise we'd never be able to eat like this," Gourry said. Zel nodded, "Course guess it's the least he could have done." Zel nodded a little more vigorously. 

The pizza came forty five minutes later. The workers were used to taking orders from Zelgadiss Greywords, the tall blonde that they assumed was Zelgadiss always answered the door with a huge smile on his face, tipped well, and always got a personal pan pizza a long with the others... presumably for a pet. This time though the pizza man ran off frightened before Gourry could even pay him. "What's up with him?" Gourry said.

                "I don't know," the chimera answered. He set down his book and opened up his pizza only to find... an empty box and a little yellow winged creature with a crescent moon on his forehead and pizza sauce all over his mouth. The little yellow animal smiled, "Kerberos! You stupid stuffed toy! Why did you have to eat my pizza when Gourry has seventeen," Zel said frustrated.

                "I have information on new Senshi that I'm not sure Gourry can comprehend, Kero said.

                "Huh?" Gourry replied. Zel and Kero both rolled their eyes.

                "I think I've found the third one... the supposed guardian Sailor Mars," Kero said with pride.

                "Great, I guess...what's his name," Gourry asked.

                "His name is Tasuki and he lives at a temple up the way with his grandfather Master Roshii and some lady who just won't leave him alone, he goes to a private school and he's very popular there," Kero provided. 

                "Alright fine then let's go get him, I have this sadistic urge to make other high school boys wear sailor fukus," Zel said with a smirk.

                "Zel... that's just plain mean," Gourry said as he finished off the sixteenth pizza, he sighed, "Ever since that day I got that really, really, really, really, really, really bad test on my exam, life has never been the same...

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback: Sailor Moon/Gourry Gabriev~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Name: Gourry Gabriev

Blood Type: I forgot

Birthday: Can't remember but I always get presents on it.

Age: Sixteen

Likes: Swords, Football, Baseball, Food, Swords, and Food.

Dislikes: My brother's yellow rat, when people take my food, dressing in women's clothing.

Friends: Heero Yuy, but I make more. I'm new here.

Home: Musahino Prefecture, Tokyo, Japan. (How did I remember that)? 

                My name is Gourry Gabriev and I'm a sixteen-year-old student at Hayajaka's Academy for mostly Bishounen in Tokyo, Japan. I don't know how I got in considering I must not be that Bishounen because I've never had a girlfriend. Someone must think I'm Bishounen because even I know I didn't get in on smarts. I live with my dad Rowdy Gabriev and my mom Meriloon Gabriev. She's really short and I don't know why. Oh yeah, I also have a younger brother named Sastoshi Gabriev. He's kind of annoying. He's got this whole thing about wanting to be the very best. I wish he would just be more laid back. My friend Zelgadiss had the same problem, look where it got him. I wonder why my parents gave Satoshi a Japanese name... no one else in our family has one... Hmm...My mom Meriloon is pretty cool. Sometimes she can be mean, but she's a really good cook. I love food. Hmm, well I suppose I should tell you my story.

_~~()~~_

                "Oh look this little yellow stuffed toy thingy has bandages on his head," Gourry said stating the obvious, as he came across a small creature while walking to school one day. "Let me take them off. I bet you're all better by now," Gourry reached down and pulled the bandages off the yellow furry winged things head, there was a moon shaped bald spot underneath, "Oh yellow toy has a bald spot!" The yellow thingy put it's hand on it's hips.... yeah seriously. It then proceeded to bite Gourry's finger. 

                "I am not a stuffed toy! I am Kerberos guardian of the Moon Prince, and this is not a bald spot. It is the mark of the crescent moon, which I protect," the yellow guardian thingy said.

                "Cool..." Gourry shook his head, "Hey did you just talk?" Kero nodded, "Listen I better be getting to school because I have to umm.... talk to my friend Heero about something. That girl, Relena won't leave him alone." Gourry ran off in utter disbelief, did his mom put some special herbs in his breakfast?

                "I'll be seeing you later... Sailor Moon," Kero said quietly and walked to the Gabriev's house.

It's nighttime in the city of Tokyo and Gourry is going to get some pizza. He figures nothing is better than a nice pizza when you get a thirty percent on your exam. Even Jueki Tylor got a better grade than him... he never studies. "Lucky," Gourry mumbled to himself as he ate another meat lover's pizza. Normally he wouldn't care if he got a bad grade. He'd get into college on a baseball or fencing scholarship after all, but when he went home Satoshi's squeaky yellow rat thing took it out of his hands and showed it to his mother. Meriloon was very angry. "Gourry," she had said, "You may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but you can do better than this!" And she kicked him out of the house for the night. It wasn't so bad though. Heero was supposed to be meeting him for dinner, but he was unfashionably late and Gourry wondered why. His question was quickly answered when he heard a girly scream and a, "That was my best spandex!" from outside. Gourry paid and quickly ran outside to find Heero complaining about a giant rip in his spandex shorts and a weird looking woman with pink anti-gravitational hair fighting a masked red headed girl in a tuxedo and top hat.  Gourry ran over and pulled the tuxedoed girl out of the way. 

                "What are you doing fighting!" Gourry asked. "I mean come on.... and how did Heero get involved in this."

                "I am Jessie! General of my elated master Giovanni. And I will punish you for interrupting my fight," the pink haired woman said with a toss of her hair.

                "Ugh.... I can't hit girls, what should I do?" he looked over at Heero who seemed to be stuck to the wall.

                "Just hurry up and do something I can't move!" Heero said and then fell unconscious. Gourry looked truly panicked. Just then though the little yellow crescent moon animal hopped up into his arms.

                "Gourry take this and say, Moon Prism Power Make-up!," the little creature said as it handed Gourry a small wand and hopped out of his arms.

                "Uhhh... Moon prism power make-over?" he said.

                "That's close enough," Kero said! Gourry cocked an eyebrow when he heard odd music beginning to play. The words "Sailor Moon" seemed to echo across the pizza parking lot. Gourry felt himself begin to spin. It was then that Heero regained consciousness.

                "Great, my shorts rip and I wake up to cheesy seventies porn music..." He then fainted again. Gourry on the other hand wondered why he kept making such fruity poses. The golden lights obstructed his view but he felt slightly... less clad. He could only think of one thing right now... they didn't put enough cheese on his pizza.

                Gourry'd worn his hair long since he was like two. His mom wouldn't let him cut it, but if he had know what his hair was going to look like now he would have cut it anyway. It wasn't so much the pigtails as the little odangos up top. Completely ridiculous. It was rather strange though; the hair was more annoying than the skimpy sailor fuku he was wearing. The tiny skirt was surprisingly liberating. But the tiara was very uncomfortable. 

                "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed, "What the hell is this all about!" He pulled his skirt down as far as he could. The tuxedoed girl and general Jessie sweat dropped.

                "A magical boy?" The girl in the tuxedo said, "I think I better go now. Pretty Boy Sailor can fight." Gourry was red as a beet.

                "Leave me alone you flat-chested kid! I have no idea what's going on!" Gourry finally said. The tuxedoed girl flicked her eyes over to them, very angry crimson colored eyes.

                "That's Tuxedo Fireball to you Sailor Bish," she said tightly.

                "It's Sailor Moon to you Tuxedo... Ummm.... Tuxedo flat chested little girl," he said. _Sailor Moon? __Where did that come from?_

_                "Watch your mouth or when I get finished with you, you'll be a pile of moon goo!" Fireball yelled threateningly. Meanwhile, General Jessie just laughed._

                "I have work to do!" She said, "So prepare for trouble and make it uh," she looked around, Oh wait, That won't work." Jesse sighed and pulled out a small red ball, "Go Arbok!" the ball opened and out popped a goofy blue creature. "I accidentally brought... Wobafett!" Sailor Bish and Tuxedo Fireball sweat dropped. They decided to ignore the woman and her deformed seal-ish looking thing and continue their squabble. 

                "Little Girl!"

                "Fruitcake!"

                "Stringy hair!"

                "Pretty boy!"

                "Flat chest!"

                "FIREBALL!"

                "Ow," Gourry said as he fell into a crispy heap. Tuxedo Fireball flashed a victory sign and a smile and went inside to pick up her carry out.

_~~~~~~()Sailor Mercury/Zelgadiss Greywords()~~~~~~_

Name: Zelgadiss Greywords

Blood Type: Not sure, it's very difficult for me to donate blood. DAMN YOU REZO!!!!!!

Birthday: August 12th

Age: 16

Likes: Books, Being alone, Coffee, Hotpots, Not being a freak, intelligent conversation, playing the guitar. I used to love to swim and dive. I was very good too, but now I just sink.

Dislikes- Being a freak, Gluttonous people, **REZO! being bothered, going out in public, REZO!, Being a freak.**

Friends: I'm new here. I don't have any friends. I don't have time for friends. Leave me alone.

Home: Musahino Prefecture, Tokyo, Japan

                Hello, I'm Zelgadiss Greywords. I'm sixteen years old and I go to Hayajaka's School of Mostly Bishounen. I definitely got in on smarts, and I don't know why I enrolled there. I could have gotten into a more prestigious school. I am very intelligent. I'm not afraid to brag about that. Especially since it's about all I have going for me. A couple years ago my great grandfather, the famous magician and scientist Rezo Greywords did an experiment on me. He told me that it was an injection to make a person stronger. I figured he must be pretty sure about it; otherwise he wouldn't test it on his own flesh and blood. WRONG! Okay, wait... he was pretty sure about it. He knew it would turn his great grandson into a freak... DAMN YOU REZO! Ummm... anyway, so now I'm a freak and I hate it. No one else in the world looks like me. That really really sucks. Rezo died a year ago, not that I care. He left me lots of money and all his crap. I don't know what to do with it though. I'm in the process of looking through all his notes and books so I can find a way to turn my body back to normal. So that's basically my life story, it sucks doesn't it? 

                What? You're wondering about that pendant I wear? It's really feminine isn't it? It looks like I stole it from a Barbie doll. It kind of looks like it would belong to someone who uses Hello Kitty toilet paper, the pink variety. I have to wear it though. I guess I could tell you why. It would also involve telling you how I actually made a friend...

***

                "The second scout is near," Kero told Gourry Gabriev as they sat in class. I can feel it. Gourry glanced over at the tiny yellow creature in his backpack.

                "Ummm... there's more?" he asked. Kero nodded.

                "The moon prince has to have guardians!" Kero said. Gourry shook his head; he really didn't know what was going on.

                "Does the Moon Prince have a Princess?" he asked. Kero nodded. "Is she hot?" Kero bit his lip, as much as he could. He knew who Gourry's lover was to be, but at this point in time, Gourry would not approve. Kero heard the door open. _Saved by Hoouji Sensei! He thought. _

                "Good morning class," Hoouji said and smiled. "We have a new student today. He's actually been taking our courses at home for a while. You may recognize his name from the top of all the testing charts!" she smiled, "Zelgadiss-san has home schooled himself since he was thirteen, so he is completely new to high school. We need to make him feel welcome and...." she faded off, continuing to talk though some weren't listening.

                "She acts like we're in elementary school," Heero said with a snicker. "It's not like we don't know the new student procedures--- Oh I see," he said as Zelgadiss walked in the room. It was quite obvious to Gourry that he was trying his damned hardest to keep his cool, to remain calm. He was very nervous, it seemed Gourry was the only one who picked that up though.

                 "That freak is the one who's testing the highest? Sad state our school is in," Heero said with a snort. Zelgadiss, who had decided for some reason to sit by the tall blonde, Gourry, picked up Heero's comment with his sharp hearing. He glared daggers at him.

                "I'd watch your tongue Heero Yuy," he said with tact, "Especially considering the fact that you are in second place... behind me." Heero, hmmphed in defeat. Hoouji Sensei motioned the class to quiet down.

                "I'm sure you have plenty of questions for our new student, but they'll have to wait," she smiled. She was trying her hardest to act normal around this strange boy, "I hope you will ask him for study tips." Zel rolled his eyes. "Now, I am hoping you all have your papers on the last fifty years of the Edo period done?" She raised her eyebrows and pushed up her glasses a little bit_. She sure is pretty, for a teacher at least, Zelgadiss thought. "I will call you up individually. In random order._

                "Heero Yuy-San," she said. Heero slunked out of his seat and glared at Zelgadiss again. He head up to the teacher with his head down.

                "Sensei," he said with sincerity, "I was working on it last night, and I went to Ooki Pizza for a bite to eat. I got a caught up in a disturbance there and didn't get home until really late." She shook her head in disbelief. Zel smirked inside.

                "This is not like you at all, but you know the policy Heero-San. Late work is fifty percent off. It better be good when you hand it in tomorrow," she said quietly with a sigh. Heero went back to his seat, defeated. He glared at Zelgadiss again. She called a couple more people up, "Zelgadiss Greywords-San," she said a few minutes later. Zel walked up with a thick report in a glossy covering. The teacher smiled. "Looks great Zelgadiss-san, can you give me a little preview?"

                "Well," he cleared his throat, "I did mine on the art and music of the later Edo period. I focused a lot on how art imitated life in the late Edo period. See this silk screen I drew?" Zel pointed to a picture of a silk screen he had drawn on the cover. It was finely detailed and very good, to say the least. "It's a reproduction of a screen depicting daily life. It was done in 1783." Fuu smiled. 

                "It looks absolutely wonderful Zelgadiss-san. I can't wait to grade it. I learned so much from your paper on the Bolshevik revolution. I told you guys to do a paper on a revolution. You're the only one who did it on something but the Japanese or American Revolution." She smiled and sent him back to his seat.

                "Thank you Sensei," he said as he headed back, "Is my teacher the only person in this class capable of having intelligent conversation?" he mumbled. Fuu Hoouji called a couple names before calling Gourry up.

                "Sensei," he said, "I worked really hard on it but I had some troubles. I can still hand it in though. Mom reminded me this morning!" he smiled. She smiled in return.

                "Gourry-san, It appears that you did indeed put a lot of effort into it," she said quietly as she flipped though the paper, "I will take that into account when grading it," she pushed her glasses up, "Or you could take it back and work on it some more. I'm sure I could get someone to help you with it."  She looked out to the students and zeroed in on Zelgadiss. "Zelgadiss-san would you please come up here a moment." Zelgadiss stood up and casually walked to her desk. "Zelgadiss-san," she whispered so only he could hear, "Perhaps I should not be doing this, but I would be willing to exempt you from final exams if you help Gourry-San out a bit. I know you have access to a great multitude of books at your house. Finding information on sports and recreation during the later Edo period should not be so difficult." Zel sighed.

                "I suppose," he replied. He turned to the tall blonde. "Gourry," he said, "I'm Zelgadiss Greywords. Nice to meet you." Gourry put out his hand and Zel hesitantly took it and shook. "Gourry, how would you like to come over to my house tonight? I can help you with your paper," Zel requested. Gourry looked pensive. _Is this weird guy putting the moves on me? He thought. "We can order pizza or something," he said. Gourry smiled._

                "Alright I'm there!" he said. Fuu smiled and put a hand on each guy's shoulder. 

                "It appears, that you two will be fast friends," she said then giggled, "Now get back to your seats. We need to finish our section on the Americanization of Japan after W.W.II."

                The bell rang signaling the end of class that fateful day and as Zelgadiss Greywords headed to find his locker before English class he noticed some people following him. It was to be expected. _Of course they want to know about the freak. He thought to himself. He turned around and looked at them. "May I help you?" he asked. One of the Bishounen, a blue haired, big blue eyed, very young looking boy approached._

                "Do you want to sit with us at lunch?" he asked simply, "We're the fencing and archery team. I'm Miki Karou, head of the fencing team," he pointed to a brown haired, blue eyed young man, "That's Parn, he's great with a sword. He's a little undisciplined though." Parn Glared at him, "Umm, Ferio," A green haired boy with a scar across his nose approached, "He's actually new to fencing. He has experience with weaponry though." Ferio stepped back. "And I believe you've met Gourry Gabriev?"  Gourry walked up and waved. "Gourry is new to our school this year, but already he's number one in our district." Gourry rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Anyway there's more of us, but I don't know where they are." Zel smiled lightly. He wondered when they would get up the nerve to ask him what was wrong with him.

                "Sure," Zelgadiss replied, "I don't see why not." He smiled lightly at them. Miki smiled widely in return. Ferio nudged Gourry.

                "Umm... Zel, Can I call you Zel," Zelgadiss nodded. Gourry continued, "Thanks for offering to help me tonight." Zel just shrugged. "I suppose I should do something in return for you. I'm in really good with the coaches, do you do any sports?" the tall athlete asked.

                "Do I do any sports, or am I good at any sports?" Zel replied. Gourry scratched his head.

                "Ummmm..." 

                "He means, either," Ferio blurted out, "Can you jump high, run fast, lift weights, fence, do archery, swim, dive, ya know whatever." Zel smiled lightly.

                "All of the above, except swimming. Of course, it would probably only be fair for me to compete in fencing or archery.  I must be honest though, I really don't want to be on any sports teams," Zel replied.

                "Aaaw, why not track?" Parn asked, "We could use some extra guys."  Zel gave him a pointed look.

                "Would you like me to show you why it would not be fair for me to run track?" Everyone nodded. Zel looked around, the hallways were clear, and it was at least two hundred feet to the closest door. "Alright fine, but I'm not showing off. You guys asked me to do this." Parn raised an eyebrow. "Porn, please move. You're in my way." Parn grumbled.

                "It's PARN! P-A-R-N! Parn!" he yelled, "By God!" Ferio stifled a laugh. Gourry scratched his head. "I am not adult entertainment," he mumbled under his breath. Zel set his backpack on the ground and got into a sprinting stance. Everyone looked at him oddly.

                "I haven't done this in a while. I don't like to," he said quietly, "One- two- three," On three Zelgadiss took off down the hall. Lightning fast, and only a blur to the astounded fencing team, He was to the end of the hallway in two seconds and back in one and one half. He picked his backpack up. Parn fainted. "Uhhh... so that's why. The same goes for lifting weights. I can lift unnatural amounts. I used to swim. Loved to swim in fact, but now I just sink." Ferio stifled another laugh. Zel glared at him, "Oh sure, it's funny to you."

                "You mean you weren't always like you are?" Gourry asked. Zel looked at him oddly, _How could he think I was just like this._

                "Yes," Miki interrupted his thoughts, "I was also under the impression that you had been born that way." Zel couldn't help but roll his eyes. _Weird people. He thought._

                "You invited me to lunch, I'll explain myself then," Zel replied. "Would one of you be willing to show me where the English classroom is?" Miki glanced at the schedule Zelgadiss held in his hand.

                "Ryuzaki's English 10 honors?" Miki said, and then smiled, "You're in Gourry and I's class. I'll take you!" Zelgadiss nodded and followed the enthusiastic boy.

                "English is like the only subject I'm any good at," Gourry said, as the turned towards Ryuzaki Sensei's door, "I don't know why." Miki had already gone in the room. "I'll go in and tell Miss Ryuzaki that you are here. We call her Miss Ryuzaki because this is an English class. Have you met her?" Zel nodded affirmatively. He thought Miss Umi was pretty, but she looked kind of like an alien. Oh well, like he had room to talk. 

***

                "You invited Gourry over for Pizza?" Parn had said earlier, "I hope you have plenty of money." Zel had just shrugged the blue-eyed fencer off. He had plenty of money. Besides how much could this guy eat? Zel said as he picked up the phone.

                "I'll have ten meat lovers pizzas and five cheese, all large please," Gourry said. Zel sweat dropped, and gave the man the order. He tacked on an additional personal pan pizza for himself. He took Gourry to his library and sat down.

                "Well, here we are," Zel said and folded his arms, "I've never tutored before, but I will tell you I am not going to just do this paper for you." Gourry wasn't really paying attention. He scanned the library. It was incredible. The thousands of books were all in red cedar wood shelves, and all the shelves had elaborate carvings on them. 

                "Hey Zel, Are you rich?" he asked bluntly. Zel stifled a laugh. 

                "I was left a rather large inheritance when Rezo died," he replied.

                "Hey Zel," Gourry said as Zel pulled down a couple books from the shelf. Zel looked up, acknowledging him. "I gotta go," he said as he glanced down at his wrist. Zel looked at what Gourry was looking at. It was a pink watch or communicator or something.

                "Umm... Okay. Why?" he asked. Gourry glanced at the tiny yellow face on the communicator.

                "Kero says I have to go to The Bishoujo Academy down the street because General Evil Lime has a bunch of bishoujo under her control. I have to go and be Sailor Moon! Not that I like it, but... Wait a minute. I think I was supposed to have a secret identity." Zel just blinked as Gourry grimaced.

                "So you're the magical boy I heard about at school today. Something about an attack on that Heero kid and then you getting in a fight with some other superhero," Zel said with a nod. He tried not to laugh, "I hear you looked fabulous in a dress." Gourry turned red as a beet.

                "Don't remind me," he said, "Well I suppose since you know there's no use hiding. I'll have to try not to tell anyone else. Don't tell anyone please." Zel looked at him in surprise.

                "Gourry, I may not be the nicest guy in the world, but I wouldn't stoop so low as to embarrass you like that." Gourry smiled.

                "Good, well then I better go!" Gourry said as he began to pack his bag, "Maybe... Can I leave my backpack here?" Zel nodded. Just then he remembered something.

                "Gourry, when I came home from school I found something in my mailbox," He pulled out a small blue scepter with a jewel on top. "I'm assuming this is yours." Gourry shook his head.

                "Looks like mine, but," he pulled his scepter out, "Mine is pink and a little fancier... Hmm...  I wonder how you got that." 

                "Hell if I know," Zel said with a shrug. He tossed it onto the table. Gourry talked to his pink watch for a moment.

                "Zel," he said as he turned to the chimera, "Pick it up and try saying. "Mercury Star Power Make-Over!" Zel picked it up and looked at it.

                "Mercury star power make-over?" Zel said, "Why would I do that. It's stu---" But Zel couldn't finish his sentence. He felt a warmness overtake him and, then suddenly he felt... naked! "Aaaaaaah!" He yelled as he looked up and noticed that he was naked, but for some strange reason he couldn't make out any details. Then he noticed, changes, No, Not that kind of changes! First came a white leotard, done in a sailor style with a light blue bow and a heart pendent, a heart... Typical sailor except... really tight. Then he felt a breeze around his midsection and a tiny skirt appeared on him in a pleasant shade of blue.... wait it wasn't pleasant it was a skirt. He squinted his eyes in disbelief and when he opened them he found the feeling gone, but he was rather chilly. Glancing at his reflection in a window, he screamed. He was wearing the outfit still. He hadn't been imagining things. There were also long white gloves, a gold tiara, and high blue boots. Gourry opened his eyes also; he had been shielding them from the blue light that had surrounded the chimera.

                "Zel?" he said in disbelief, and then he smiled, "Cool! I'm not alone!" Zel glared at him.

                "I am not going to participate in your little magical boy club, Ok?" he gritted his teeth, "Where are my old clothes?" he asked.

                "Aaaw, but Zel you're supposed to be my guardian or something. You're Sailor umm..."

                "Mercury," Zel said for him, "Wait how did I know that?" He shook his head, "Look, let's use logic here. I cannot be a magical boy. You aren't supposed to be able to recognize me. I hate to burst your bubble, but I am the most recognizable person in the four hemispheres!"

                "But Zel, even I know that no matter how obvious it is people can't recognize you in your super duds!" Gourry said, "Now obviously, you're a scout so we have to go!"

                "I DON'T CARE IF NO ONE RECOGNIZES ME!" Zel yelled, "I am not going out there in drag!"

***

                In the end, he did. Gourry literally dragged a very disgruntled Zelgadiss to the school of bishoujo. "Gourry! Gourry! Please this is almost sadistic!" he said as Gourry dragged him by his wiry hair.

                "Then get up and walk!" Gourry said firmly, "I am not going at this alone." Zel grumbled and stood up brushing off his knees he followed the blonde. Within Minutes they were at the point of the attack. Evil Lime sat atop the building twisting her blue hair around her fingers and making her shoes squeak. Gourry glanced around at the voluptuous bishoujo in their naughty school uniforms. "Zel, Umm... I mean Mercury," Zel stopped ogling at the hypnotized bishoujo. "We've gotta save them!"  Zel nodded.

                "What's my attack?" he asked.

                "Your attack?" Gourry replied. Zel rolled his eyes.

                "Yeah you know, like mine would be Mercury Aqua Bubbles," he said. Gourry just blinked.

                "Then I guess your attack would be Mercury Aqua Bubbles, you just said it..." 

                "Gourry, how could I just know that? I did not say my attack was Mercury Aqua bubbles," he said. Gourry shook his head.

                "Yes you did," he replied. Zel blinked.

                "My attack is bubbles?" he said angrily, "I have to dress in this so I can make bubbles!" he stomped his foot in frustration.

                "Umm... I guess," the blonde stated.

                "Wait a minute Gourry! This isn't fair. How come you haven't transformed?" Zel asked, hands on hips. Gourry smiled sheepishly.

                "Ummm... I forgot?" he said. Zel rolled his eyes. "Moon Prism Power Makeover!"

*********

A.N.- Naoko Takuechi, Hajime Kanzaka, The Gundam Wing Guy, Yuu Watase, and Satoshi Tagari: We're sorry and hope you forgive us.

Also we apologize about the overuse of Zel in this chapter, but he's just too fun to torture!


	2. The Homestyle Scout of Mount Liekaku

Sailor Bish!

The Homestyle Scout of Mount Liekaku

**By KellyChan and Jennie Starwind**

"Miaka…"

"Tama…home.."

"Miaka…"

"Tama…"

"I love you Miaka…"

"I love you too Tamahome."

"Miaka."

"Tamahome…"

"Miaka, did I mention I love you?"

"Tama…"

"GAH! What is this shit!" the bandit-wannabe shouted at the television as he clicked it off. "If I have to watch one more episode of _Sailor LuvLuv_… I am going to break this TV!" The redhead leaned back in his chair and continued to flip through the channels, stopping when he got to TNN.  Zel grumbled as the strains of "Friends in Low Places" reached his sensitive ears.

 "We must be nearby Tasuki's place," he said as he looked over at his blonde companion. Gourry just shrugged and snapped along with the blaring Garth Brooks tune. It was only a few moments and they reached the entrance of the infamous Liekaku Turtle Shrine. Gourry was quick to rush to the door… "Friends in Low Places" had just ended and now someone who he assumed was Tasuki was singing along to "All My Exes Live in Texas." Zel sighed and mumbled something incoherent under his breath. Gourry knocked on the door. Tasuki stopped his attempted singing and cursed under his breath.

            "Yeah yeah I'll be there in a second," he yelled. Tasuki flipped off the TV and headed to answer the door. He was surprised to see a tall blonde high schooler and a rather disgruntled blue skinned young man behind him. "Hey! You guys aren't from Liekaku Academy…"

            "Well actually…" Zel said as he stepped up. Tasuki eyed the strange fellow before him.

            "Ah you must be here to see Grampa Roshi…" Tasuki smirked, "He's at the convenience store getting some bread… But that's bull I know the new issue of Hustler came out today." Zel decided to ignore that comment.

            "No… we're here to see you," Gourry said with a smile. Tasuki hmmphed.

            "Well that's awful strange… the only people that ever bear the trek to the top of Liekaku for me is my buddy Kouji and that annoying Naga gal that always wants to train here."  Zel gave a look that screamed _I want to get out of here now. _He approached the red head teenager and cleared his throat.

            "I'm Zelgadiss, this is Gourry and this is for you," Zel said as he pulled out a cute little red scepter. Tasuki held it up to the light.

            "The Hell???" Gourry smiled.

            "This is your changing wand… you say stuff and there's sparkles and you change into a short skirt and there's weird music and you get powers." Tasuki just blinked and stared at the stick. Zel sighed.

            "Just say Mars Star Power Make Over," he said. Tasuki shook the stick for a moment then shrugged.

            "Mars star power make over…" 

**insert cheez music, featureless naked Tasuki, Flames, Sparkles, and Pretty nail polish application here**

"WHAT THE HELLL!!!!" Zel suppressed a grin…

"Watching other people go through this is so amusing to me," Zel stifled a laugh. Gourry smiled.

            "Welcome to the Secret Sailor Scout thing Tasuki!" Tasuki looked down in mortification at his short red skirt… he also noted that his cute red wand had turned into a silver fan. He decided not to address the fact that he was in drag just yet… for he was still in shock. 

            "What's with the fan?" Gourry shrugged.

            "I don't know… I don't have a fan… Zel what's with the fan?" Zel crossed his arms.

            "I don't know, I'm too busy using BUBBLES!" Zel looked away for a moment and remembered how he had figured out his attacks… they had just come to him somehow. "Tasuki… imagine there's some kind of evil villain you have to fight… They've stolen your new Tim McGraw CD and you are pissed… What would you say?" 

            "Is it the one with the Faith Hill duet?" he asked. Zel nodded in the positive. Tasuki looked absolutely mortified at that thought. He whipped out his fan and screamed.

            "Mars Flaming Fan attack!" Tasuki yelled in anguish. The outer edge of the fan turned to fire and as he swung it forward tongues of flame shot forth taking out a great deal of the front porch. Gourry just blinked.

            "Uh… Zel… I think you hit a soft spot." He stated.

            "Whatever works." Zel shrugged as he watched Tasuki play with his new toy… "Well he seems to be so into the fan we don't even have to address the drag issue…" Tasuki blinked.

            "Drag?" He looked down, "I was wondering why it was a little breezy down there…"

            "You don't have a problem with it?" Gourry asked. Tasuki shrugged.

            "Hey as long as I get to play with the fan… I ain't got a problem with it." Zel seemed quite disappointed he was not upset. 

            "All right… let's go… either we get to find another scout, fight some random people… or if we're lucky… go home for the day." 

            "I want pizza," Gourry said randomly and walked off to get pizza. Zel just shook his head as his friend followed his nose to the nearest Pizza Shack.

            "Where's he going?" The redhead asked.

            "To get food," the chimera answered simply.

            "Oh can I go… I want bbq," Tasuki contributed.

            "No. I want to go home and look for my cure… and maybe eat some wheat thins," Zel said… "It would be so relaxing."

"Oooh your cure? You mean you weren't always a talkin' rock?" The chimera glared in his direction.

"No… I was not." He sighed.  Zel really had not had a chance to relax since his initial transformation… with homework… fighting random fruity bad guys and tutoring Gourry. "To go home and relax… that would be the ultima…" He was interrupted by a beep on his girly wristwatch communicator. "Damn you Kero… what now?" 

            "Zelgadiss… I see you have found the third scout… congratulations! Once again I am communicating through you because I do not think Gourry can comprehend it." Zel sighed. "We have a problem… it is a good thing you found the other scout. This woman will be much harder to defeat than evil Lime." Zel just blinked. "Her name is Soi… and she is draining the chi of office workers at Suzakuryu Inc. Gourry is already there attempting to fight her… but I think he will need help."

            "Oh?" Zel questioned. Kero sighed.

            "Yes I think he finds her rather attractive." Kero looked over at Gourry who was currently listening to Soi ramble about Chi.

            "Mmm… Soy sauce sounds really good right now… Hmm Chi, is that a biscuit?" Zel heard him in the back ground and grumbled. 

            "Tasuki and I will be there right away…" 

**Meanwhile at the Scene of the Chi Theft**

            "In the name of the moon… and soy sauce… I will punish you!"  Soi sweat dropped and twiddled her long magenta hair around her fingers. She smiled at the swarms of office workers who lay drooling at her feet. 

            "Who's next," she said with a smirk… A young man with chin length black hair and a rather ordinary appearance approached Soi.

            "I am more than willing to share my Chi with you oh you lovely woman!" Soi grinned.

            "And you are?" The young man put his hand behind his head.

            "Oooh I'm just you every day ordinary Watanabe!" Soi nodded and motioned him to come with her…

            "Just follow me…" She led him behind a curtain she had pinned up to the building. "Lay down… get naked and it's chi time…"  Watanabe nodded and got on the makeshift bed… which consisted of a cot and what he assumed to be Soi's cloak as a sheet.  

**5 minutes later**

            "Mmm Watanabe that was great… I'm not sure everyday ordinary is the best description for you tiger!" Watanabe smiled as he pulled on his clothes. 

            "I'm sure glad you enjoyed it pretty lady… I am sure you will use the chi well." Soi nodded.

            "Yes but unfortunately I have no use for you anymore…" She readied a lightning attack. 

            "STOP!" Yelled a distinctly female voice. Soi looked over to see a red headed girl in a black tux that resembled something a disco vampire would wear. "I am Tuxedo Fireball… and you're messing with the wrong people here… I am a defender of love and justice… and dreams… and WHY!! Am I saying this crap! I'm Tuxedo Fireball and you better watch your back cuz I am going to whoop your ass!" Soi pulled on her skirt and sighed… leaving the Watanabe behind the curtain. 

            "So you've come with the Magical Boy to defeat me… well I guess he is here to defeat me… though he seems dumbfounded by my beauty." Fireball shrugged.

            "I think that's the way he always is." Fireball sighed… "Look… I'm not too big on this speech thing… so just stop having sex with guys to get their chi and then killing them with lightning attacks." 

"A mere little girl thinks she can defeat me?" Soi laughed, and hurled a bolt towards the nearby building. Either the falling rubble or the screams of the workers finally snapped Gourry out of his reverie. 

"Oh, I guess I should try and fight her, right Kero?" The yellow animal's eyes narrowed.

 "That's kind of the point here." Gourry nodded, and pulled forth his scepter. 

_"Moon Shining Heart Attack!"_ The attack just missed Soi, as she jumped to the side. 

"Oh, so now you want to play too?" Soi said launching another lightening bolt attack in his direction. The remnants of the building plummeted towards him. Lina glared in Soi's direction. 

            "You are dirty Soi," she said… Soi just laughed.

            "Whatever it takes to get by!" Fireball just shook her head. 

            "Yeah… whatever it takes to get by," she smiled, "Like this… _BURST RONDO!" _The explosion of magical energy hit Soi straight on… The villain screamed in pain and Fireball knew that was the end of her. 

As the dust cleared, nothing but the boy's blond hair remained visible through the wreckage. "Oh no! Sailor Jellyfish!" Fireball said as she jumped down from her perch atop the lamppost. She pushed her cape back behind her, as she began to dig him out of the rubble. "Hey… Jellyfish, are you okay?" she asked upon unburying his upper half. 

"Jellyfish?" He questioned. She blushed slightly. 

"It's…uh…. a nickname…sorta…" He just smiled as he struggled to stand. "Jellyfish…I like it." He teetered forward and Fireball reached out to steady him. He slumped up against her, his pigtails brushing against her cheek. Her face turned crimson. 

"Uh…are you going to be okay?" She stammered out.  He pulled back to face her. "Yeah, I think so…" Fireball looked away nervously and looked back… she opened her mouth to say something when she heard.

            "WOHHOOOO! Go Gourry!" Tasuki said as he ran toward the scene… Zel was running behind him and both were in full sailor fuku glory. Zel glared.

            "Hey Gourry???? You do realize that you just blew his cover Mars?" Tasuki just shrugged. 

            "Ah sorry there Zelgadiss… I didn't mean to." Zel sweat dropped, _I'm surrounded by morons, _he thought to himself. 

Gourry waved at his companions. 

            "Hey guys! This little girl and I defeated Soi already…" 

            "It looks like you did more than just defeat Soi," Tasuki said as he noticed the placement of Fireball's arms. Gourry blushed and Zel just rolled his eyes. Fireball meanwhile…

            "Little Girl???" she spat, "Fireball!!" 

_A.N.- Tasuki is a hick… okay… it's true. (Bandit dance… nuff said)_

_Another A.N.- We got a new writer in our group… it's Jennie Starwind… she helped a lot with this chappy too! (L/G fans… enjoy the sap)_

_Disclaimer- Hajime Kanzaka, Yu Watase, Koishi Rikdo, Naoku Takeuchi, CLAMP… anyone else… please forgive us._

_Next Chapter in Sailor Bish- When a new student transfers to Hayajaka's School of Mostly Bishounen… no one thinks much of him… except he pretends to be a huge bad ass and has fuzzy white ears… Could he perhaps be the Sailor Scout Jupiter?_

**Next Time on Sailor Bish!**

**Feh… So You Think Torturing Puppy-boys from Feudal Japan is Fun?**

(Yes we do enjoy it very much.)


	3. The New Transfer Student and the Rabid M...

****

Sailor Bish

__

Episode Three

****

"Of Transfer Students and Rabid Monkeys."

__

By the HFWS

"Will these two star crossed lovers finally find true happiness? Find out next time, on "Sailor LuvLuv." Episode thirty-five… "The Girl Who Crossed Time to Meet Boy." Will love find a…" Zelgadiss walked in the room and flipped off the TV.

"Gourry why are you watching this crap?" Zel sighed. Gourry smiled.

"I like the sparkles, they're pretty." Gourry said and turned to Tasuki who was toying with his flaming fan creating tiny sparks. Tasuki looked to Gourry.

"Well I think it's shit!" Tasuki shrugged. Zel sat down in a recliner across from the two boys and cleared his throat.

"Did you guys hear about the new transfer student?" He asked. "I heard he left his old school because his girlfriend was mysteriously killed." Gourry blinked.

"Well I heard he got kicked out because he got in some huge fight with his older brother." Gourry added. Tasuki looked up from his fan.

"Didn't one of you tell me that he got kicked out for taking a weapon to school and continually scarfing ramen in class?" Tasuki smirked.

"I don't think a school kicks people out for eating in class because otherwise Gourry would have gotten kicked out…" Zel said quietly. 

"Oh…"

"Oh…" The three teenagers all sighed and were silent for a few minutes. Gourry yawned. "This is boring…" A small tapping was heard and Kero entered the room. 

"Are you guys ever going to go look for the fourth Sailor Scout???" Kero asked annoyed. "I know he is near… I can feel it, it's just a matter of finding him now!" Gourry smiled good-naturedly.

"Ah well maybe we'll just happen to run into him."

****

The Next Day…. At School.

Gourry ran frantically around the hallways of his school. "Oh no I'm late for class… I forgot where the classroom was…" he scratched his head. "OH! Was it by that one vending machine with the kit kat bars and pineapple gummies?" Gourry quickly turned heel and ran back towards said vending machine. Gourry rounded the last corner and ran smack into someone… and promptly fell back, as did the person he ran into. 

"What the hell??? Why don't you watch where you are going moron… dammit. I was just minding my own business and you randomly happened to run into me!" Gourry looked up at the ceiling.

"Hmmm I wonder."

__

~Rewinds to previous day~

"Are you guys ever going to go look for the fourth Sailor Scout???" Kero asked annoyed. "I know he is near… I can feel it, it's just a matter of finding him now!" Gourry smiled good-naturedly.

"Ah well maybe we'll just happen to run into him."

~Comes back to reality~

"This just sucks! Here it is my first day at my new school and everyone's treating me weird anyway… what the hell??????" Gourry looked up from his daze and saw the tip of a rusty old sword… pointed straight at his face. Gourry blinked in realization.

"Oooh! You must be the new transfer student who killed his girlfriend and always takes weapons to school!" The person in question face faulted at the utter bluntness of the statement. Gourry sat up and approached the transfer student. "Umm are you… Hey! Ohhhh you've got dog ears how cool!" he said reaching to touch the fuzzy white triangles. 

"Squeak squeak," the ears sounded. 

"Stop that… get the hell away from me… stop touching my ears!" Gourry blinked.

"Umm okay. Hey what's your name? I'm Gourry Gabriev!" He smiled.

"InuYasha," he glared, "What's it to ya?" 

"Ohhhh Hi… InuYasha! Do you happen to have any special powers like that make you dress in drag and have sparkles and stuff??" The white haired dog-eared person in front of him blinked, and wondered if this Gourry had actually damaged his brain when he ran into him. 

"Did you hit your head or something?" InuYasha asked. Gourry scratched his head.

"Uhhh no I don't think so… Hey, are you on the fencing team? That's kind of an odd looking sword, but we could use some new members." InuYasha looked to the sword, and back to Gourry. 

"Does this look like a sword for fencing???" 

"Ohhhh!" Gourry smacked his fist into his palm. "Is that the sword you took to school even though you weren't supposed to? Is that the sword that you fought your brother with…? I bet that's the sword that you killed your girlfriend with, that's why it's all rusty." InuYasha twitched. 

"Feh… I don't like to talk about it but if it will stop the stupid rumors… My girlfriend was part of this weird cult that worshipped this little sparkly pink ball, and believed they had ice powers. She was somehow killed in one of their training missions. They say she was killed by a rabid monkey, but I think they killed her or it was some kind of ritual suicide." He sighed. "Her younger sister has the cops on the case…" Gourry blanched.

"You mean there's rabid monkeys running around Tokyo???" Gourry looked positively horrified. 

"No…! Moron, I said it wasn't a rabid monkey!" InuYasha growled in frustration. 

"Oooh well there aren't that many monkeys in Japan… was it one of those white snow baboon things?" InuYasha was getting slightly annoyed with the dimwitted blonde.

"Umm shouldn't you get to class?" Gourry shrugged.

"Well I have missed so much already because I couldn't find the room. There's not much point to me going to class."

"Oh…"

"I'm hungry…"

"What???'

"Hungry… I need food…" Gourry stated simply and walked over to the vending machine… He purchased a kit-kat and a bag of pineapple gummies. He then proceeded to sit down next to him. "Here… have a kit-kat!" InuYasha nodded and took the candy bar, slowly unwrapping it and savoring all the chocolaty goodness. "Umm you sure eat slow… it's gonna take you four hours to finish that candy bar…" InuYasha shrugged.

"I haven't had a chocolate bar for a while… so sue me." 

"Oh… you want a gummy?" InuYasha nodded and took the individually wrapped fruity ring and popped it into his mouth. Gourry smiled. "You know when I was a kid… I used to go to the zoo and look at the monkeys… sometimes they threw poop at me but, there was this one monkey… that I swear used to dance." He smiled in reminiscence… "I named her Vanna." InuYasha just blinked. "So yah I have always had a special fondness for monkeys… I like the little one's from South America… I think they're called spider monkeys." InuYasha spit out the fruity gummy.

"Feh I hate spider monkeys… they're so stupid." Gourry frowned.

"But they're cute…" 

"Shut up!" he snapped. InuYasha nibbled the kit-kat. 

"Okay fine no more monkeys… but I was wondering, why do you have ears anyway… I mean I have ears, but yours are weird…" InuYasha finished nibbling the chocolate off the second bar. 

"Oh… Well my stupid older brother says it's because I'm a hanyou."

"Huh?" Gourry stared clueless.

"It means half demon or something like that… but I don't believe him. I think it's because I have been subjected to radioactive waves from the microwave in conglomeration with the Styrofoam cups used in "cup 'o' ramen" stuff I used to eat." He sighed. "There is a reason why I only eat the stove cooked ramen now."

"Oh," Gourry said pretending to know what he was talking about, "Are you sure you weren't just born with them?" 

"Actually I don't know… I've tried to forget most of my childhood because it involved my brother being stupid and annoying." There was a silence for a few moments before the bell rang. InuYasha and Gourry looked up from their candy to see a swarm of bishounen leaving their classrooms. Gourry heard heavy footsteps and looked up to see Zel standing over him. 

"Why did you skip class?" Zelgadiss asked. 

"I got lost…" Gourry sighed.

"Again?" Gourry nodded. Zel glanced over to the boy who was sitting next to Gourry nibbling a kit-kat. "Is this the new transfer student," he said when he noticed the hilted sword. 

"Oooh yeah this is InuYasha, I ran into him!" Gourry said. 

"Literally," InuYasha added. Zel blinked.

"Oh you're the transfer student who supposedly killed his girlfriend right?" InuYasha glared.

"Why does everyone think that?????" he yelled. Gourry smiled. 

"Oh no, InuYasha didn't kill her, it was a rabid monkey… maybe a snow baboon." Gourry scratched his chin, "I wonder if the monkey killed her with flinging poo…" 

"Gourry that's stupid…" InuYasha and Zelgadiss said at the same time. Zel sighed.

"Gourry we have a meeting with Kero tonight at eight p.m. I don't know what kind of plans you have… except eating, but be there at my house." Zel stated. 

"Well I was planning on going to the arcade tonight, they got this cool new game where…." 

"That's nice Gourry," Zel said slightly annoyed. "And I suppose you are going to make me come along?" Gourry nodded. 

"It will be fun!" Gourry smiled, "InuYasha you wanna come?" 

"I guess I could come along. It's not like I'm gonna study." Zel sighed.

"Fine I will come and watch you two make yourself look like idiots." Zel shook his head. 

The trio reached the arcade around three 'o' clock p.m. and were surprised to see a large banner across the door reading. 

****

"The Third Annual BuyoMark Arcade Dance Dance Revolution Smackdown"

"Sponsored by your friendly WacDnlds!"

"Ooh DDR!" Gourry said… "I've never been too good at that, but I still wanna play some games."

"Dammit this means the arcade is going to be really crowded," Zel muttered. InuYasha grinned. 

"Ha!" he said. "I was the best at DDR at my old school…" he said loudly than lowered his voice to a mumbled whisper, "Of course my brother always kicked my ass, but I know for sure he was cheating."

"So you wanna enter InuYasha?" Gourry asked. 

"Yah sure… I wanna kick some ass, and it's a good thing I happen to have my lucky DDR hat on." InuYasha adjusted his cap, a blue baseball cap with yellow text reading "Bad." Zel blinked.

"That hat is really stupid," he said plainly. InuYasha got defensive. 

"I got it when I won my first DDR match, and I haven't ever lost with it on," he lowered his voice, "Except to my brother who cheats…" he said quickly. Zel rolled his eyes, and the trio walked in the arcade. 

****

Insert extremely competitive DDR smackdown competition here

And now… the finals!

"This is great! InuYasha made the finals," Gourry exclaimed, "His lucky hat must really be working!" Zel shrugged.

"Or it could be because his brother isn't competing…" InuYasha walked over with a smug smile on his face.

"You're looking at the future BuyoMark DDR Champion here!" he clenched his fist, "Unless the final competitor is my stupid brother who cheats." InuYasha walked off.

"Well I hope he wins!" Gourry said, "Maybe then people will believe he didn't kill his girlfriend and that the monkey did." 

"Ladies and Gentleman," the announcer said, "Introducing our final match of the third annual BuyoMark DDR Smackdown, sponsored by your friendly WacDnlds! Our first competitor, that diva of dance, that belle of busting a move, that star of stepping in time… two time BuyoMark DDR champion… Buyomark's own… Kagome Higurashi!" The crowd cheered as the perky black haired schoolgirl stepped onto the machine. "And our second competitor, Newcomer to the tournament, but still not to be forgotten, the not so "bad" dancer… InuYasha… and uhhh the last name is smudged." InuYasha stepped onto the platform and waved. "Are you ready to revolutionize the world with dance?" InuYasha and Kagome nodded. "Let's rock!" And they began. InuYasha stepped feverishly quick in time to the beat, and Kagome did the same… after some number of songs it looked like they were tied. "This is a very close match," the announcer exclaimed, "Truly the most exciting ever to occur at BuyoMark! It looks like we are going to have a final tiebreaker! Whoever wins this one wins the match… its sudden death!" InuYasha glared at his competitor and she looked back. "One two three… go!" InuYasha had never played DDR so well, even when he was with his brother who cheated.

"I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win…" he said to himself, his confidence soaring. It was at that moment that he lost his concentration… and missed one step. As the final arrows rolled across the screen, and the song ended, InuYasha and Kagome stopped and began breathing deeply, waiting for the scores to appear on the screen. Kagome looked supremely confident, and was justified when the screen showed a perfect score for her, and one missed step for InuYasha… InuYasha just blinked. "Damn! I would have won if it wasn't for the distracting spinny animation on this particular DDR song!" Kagome smiled over at her competitor… 

"Congratulations, InuYasha you did well, I hope to compete against you again." InuYasha looked away and scowled. The announcer cleared his throat.

"Wow what a competition, they both put up a good fight, but Kagome Higurashi wins by a small margin… she is now the three time winner of the BuyoMark DDR smackdown sponsored by WacDnlds!" Kagome waved at the audience and turned back to her competitor, bowing lightly in a polite gesture between competitors. InuYasha blinked in surprise (his brother never did this!) and proceeded to nod and bow politely as well. As he came up from the bow though, his lucky cap fell off. Kagome and InuYasha gasped and both reached for the fallen hat. InuYasha felt a slight tug on the other side of his hat and looked up to see Kagome holding it as well. InuYasha stared at her a moment before she said something.

"Uhhh," she stammered, "You dropped your hat…" InuYasha nodded and took the hat.

"Thanks…" he said with a light blush. Kagome smiled. 

"No problem," she said… "You did well…" she looked up at him. "Oooh you have ears! Those are so cute!" InuYasha sighed and prepared for the inevitable as Kagome tweaked his ears. InuYasha grumbled and smushed the cap back on his head. Kagome giggled.

"So you uhhh work here huh?" InuYasha asked her quietly. Kagome nodded.

"Yes I do, my family owns the arcade." InuYasha sighed.

"Ooh so I guess I'll see you around… I just uhhh moved here." He said nervously. Kagome smiled.

"That would be nice." InuYasha nodded quickly. 

"I'm gonna beat you next time!" he said, saying the first thing that came to mind. 

"Oh?" Kagome said slightly amused. He nodded again.

"Yeah the swirly images distracted me, but if it was another song… I would have won!" Kagome shook her head.

"Well I think you did pretty well… even with the swirly images," she replied. "Hold on, I'll even get you a consolation prize." She walked off and came back with something behind her back. "Here you go," she said and handed it to him. InuYasha just blinked.

"A stuffed pink bunny?" he said and stretched its arms, then touched the small dark pink ribbon it wore. "What kind of prize is this???" Kagome laughed.

"Well there isn't much cool I can give you, I mean it's an arcade, we basically just have ufo plushies and stuff… I thought it was kind of cute." She sighed. InuYasha looked down at the plush.

"Uhh thanks…" he said. "See ya around I guess." Kagome nodded enthusiastically and InuYasha walked off with the bunny back over to Zel and Gourry. 

"Hey InuYasha you did really well!" Gourry complimented. Zel sighed.

"Yes, nice job… let's go Gourry we have a meeting to get to." The blonde looked to the bunny in InuYasha's arms. 

"Ohhh that bunny is cute!" he grinned. Gourry proceeded to take the bunny from the disgruntled DDR runner up's hands and set it on top of InuYasha's head, it's arms flopping over the side of the "bad" cap.

"What are you doing?" InuYasha asked with a twitch. Gourry thought for a moment.

"Oh! The bunny can protect your ears from rabid monkeys!" He nodded. Zel glared over at Gourry.

"Gourry, drop the monkey thing, it's getting really old." Zel muttered dangerously. Gourry nodded.

"Well okay, because actually it was probably a snow baboon." Zel sighed.

"Whatever…." Gourry looked back over at InuYasha who had removed the bunny from his head and was now dangling it by one of its ears. 

"So why were you talking to that girl? Gourry asked. "Did she remind you of your dead girlfriend that you didn't kill, but was killed by rabid mon--- I mean snow baboon?" InuYasha blushed lightly and turned away.

"Feh! Maybe if you stood on your head and squinted she would look kind of look like her." InuYasha's ears twitched as he heard someone approach the group, he looked up to see a redhead in a Nascar jacket. 

"Hi guys… what ya'll doing? Tasuki said as he approached Gourry and Zel. "Ya guys missed the meeting with Kero tonight," he gestured to the little creature in his arms that was currently pretending to be a stuffed toy. "Kero figgered you two would be here… so he interrupted my Jeff Gordon documentary on ESPN2 and made me come." Zel just shook in utter disbelief at his homestyle friend. Tasuki looked over to InuYasha, "Who are you… hey I like your hat!" Tasuki gave a thumbs up. 

"InuYasha, this is Tasuki… Tasuki, InuYasha…" Zel introduced. Tasuki came to a sudden realization.

"Oh are you the new transfer student who got kicked out of his old school for scarfing ramen in class?" InuYasha raised an eyebrow.

"The hell? Well that's a new one." 

"Oh that and he got blamed for killing his girlfriend who was actually killed by a rabid snow baboon!" Gourry added. 

"Gourry I forbid you to talk about snow baboons now." Zel snapped. There was a silence for a moment and then Zel sighed. "Let's go…" Tasuki and Gourry nodded and began to head out the door.

"I think I'm gonna stay here a little longer and play some games," InuYasha said. Gourry smiled knowingly. 

"Well you have fun flirting with the girl who beat you in the DDR match!" InuYasha turned away. "Oh and don't let her get killed by rabid primates!" Zel looked at him surprised. 

"Gourry… primate? How do you know that big a word?" Zel asked.

"Oh I read it in my monkey book… it has proboscis monkey on the cover… I love it; did you know that some kinds of baboons use wooden tools? Often they make these tools themselves." Zel stopped in his tracks.

"Stop it Gourry… you're scaring me." The trio of scouts exited the arcade leaving InuYasha with his bunny. InuYasha looked down to see that something had just entered the arcade. It was a small yellow creature with a wand… that wore a pink diaper. InuYasha blinked. 

"What the hell? That's a weird toy." He said to himself. The creature looked in his direction and uttered one single word.

"Puuchuu!" It tilted its head at InuYasha and walked towards the nearby counter. InuYasha just stared in disbelief as the door opened again, and about fifteen more of these creatures entered. 

"The hell?" he said. "I must be seeing things… It's probably because of that spinny animation…. Well when my brother thought I was sick he used to stick my head in the sink…. Then again he may have just been trying to drown me, but I guess it could be worth a try." InuYasha walked off to the arcade bathroom, and proceeded to submerge his head in a sink, giving up when he discovered that it just gave him a headache and got water up his nose. It was then that he heard a panicked yell and the bathroom door slamming. He looked up to see a young boy gasping for breath and squeezing a fat brown and white cat. InuYasha read his nametag… "Hello My Name is Souta Higurashi… how may I help you." He stared at the boy. "What do you want?" Souta hugged the cat tighter.

"My sister was kidnapped… I thought you could help because you are so good at DDR!" InuYasha paled as he pieced things together. 

"Your sister Kagome?" he asked. Souta nodded. 

"Yes she was just kidnapped," he reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny wand, a purple stick with three loops on top. "All they left was this." InuYasha's eyes darkened. 

"It was those damn cute things…" he said, "The one's that looked at me all evilly and said "Puuchuu." Souta gasped.

"You know who kidnapped her?" he exclaimed. InuYasha nodded. "Would you please go save her? I mean you do have a sword even if it's really tattered looking…" InuYasha didn't say anything and just ran out of the arcade… following the scent of the devious cute things. 

****

Sailor Bish Sez!

"Huh… What am I supposed to say… something morally correct… I dunno what to say. Talk about something intelligent? Uhh I know about monkeys… I read in my monkey book. The smallest of the apes is the Gibbon… which weigh from 12-20 pounds. Their very long arms are adapted for swinging through trees. Several kinds of Gibbon live in Southeast Asia and Indonesia… The Siamang Gibbon, which is the largest gibbon is known for it's loud cries, amplified through a throat sack. I like baboons too. Baboons breed throughout the year when not pregnant or nursing… the females come on heat…"

"SHUT UP ABOUT THE MONKEYS!!!" Zel yelled. 

****

Next time on Sailor Bish!

There is an evil… greater than any other… and InuYasha has gone to face it alone, will he find his Powers as Sailor Jupiter and save Kagome in time…? Or will it be too late?

****

NEXT TIME

"Sailor Jupiter and the Lair of Cuteness!"

You won't want to miss it!

A.N.- Yup there were a lot of subtle references to other animes in here… kudos if you got them ^^ Just a note… if you are wondering where the heck "BuyoMark" came from… well it's the official ice cream of Sengoku Jidai! As seen in this doujinshi… http://www.ainself.net/kelly/crap/buyomark.jpg I looove this doujinshi…. Must scan more. 

This chapter was scribed by KellyChan… with much help from Jennie Starwind. 

Ohh the first chapter of Sailor Bish has fanart… by Jennie Starwind! 

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanart/view.php?id=120328

The new Chapter of Sailor Bish is written… and just needs to be htmled… look for it tomorrow or Tuesday!


	4. Sailor Jupiter and The Lair of Cuteness

****

Sailor Bish

__

Episode Four

****

"Sailor Jupiter and the Lair of Cuteness!"

__

By the HFWS

**Fighting Evil By Moonlight**

**Eating chicken by daylight**

**Always ready for a real fight!**

**They are the one's named Sailor Bish**

**They will never turn their back on their friends**

**They are always there to defend**

**But they think Sailor Briefs feel like Depends!TM**

**They are the one's named Sailor Bish!**

**Sailor Moon!**

"Umm what was my line again?"

**Sailor Mercury!**

"Bubbles? Damn you Re—Well just damn you!"

**Sailor Mars!**

"Yeaha I gots me a flamin' fan!"

**Sailor Jupiter**

"Feh- I told you a million times… I didn't kill my girlfriend!"

**Bishounen who are called Sailor Bish**

**To wear their skirts they must now keep trim**

**Magical Boys named Sailor Bish**

**They are the one's… Sailor Bish!**

****

Meanwhile at the Devious Cute things Secret Lair

"Attention all Puuchuus please head to the double H club room for a meeting with our supreme ruler… please bring any sacrifices you may have captured today." A female said across the intercom. Swarms of the cute creatures ran down the hallway quickly, excited to meet up with the supreme ruler. About fifteen of the Puuchuus carried their sacrifice… a gagged and tied up Kagome Higurashi. Once the Puuchuu had all entered the clubroom the door slammed shut and the room fell quiet. 

"My servants!" said a booming voice… that despite it's intimidating tone, was strangely cute. The Puuchuus all lowered to a bow as their supreme ruler came out from behind a door decorated with various rainbows and happy looking suns. It looked at its subjects with woobly eyes. "What sacrifices have you brought your mighty leader? Hamtaro!" The Puuchuus bowed once more for good measure. "Hamtaro is hungry… I hope you minions brought me something nice!" The Puuchuus cleared their throats.

"Puuchuu," they said and cleared the way so the evil overlord could see what they had caught. Kagome looked up from her position on the floor, and would have screamed had she not been gagged. 

"Aghhh!" She thought to herself… "Too cute… and it's like eight feet tall!" Kagome twitched. "Is this gonna be the death of me… by that cute thing???" The Puuchuus nodded.

"Puuuchuuu!" they said in the affirmative. 

"Not if I can help it!" InuYasha proclaimed as he busted through the cute doors. 

****

Meanwhile while this whole incident was happening…

"I sense evil…" Kero's eyes darkened. Zel blinked.

"Ah shit… not now," He grumbled. 

"Ah well we should go after it…" Gourry put in. Tasuki smiled.

"Do I get to play with my fan again?" Zel rolled his eyes.

"Yes you get to play with your fan again… and I guess I can use my damn bubbles!" The room was silent for a moment.

"Okay let's go…" Kero said. 

****

Back to the Lair of Cuteness

"InuYasha," Kagome mumbled through the gag. InuYasha unhilted his sword and began to plow through the Puuchuus with the rusty blade. Upon seeing Kagome bound and gagged it angered him even further and the blade began to crackle with lightning energy. As the lightening wrapped around the sword, it seemed to grow in power and length… 

"Whoa how did that happen… my sword grew… that's never happened before," he blinked, "Was it because of that girl?" He sighed. "Ah well this kicks ass!" InuYasha smirked. It was then that the trio of transformed Sailor Scouts barged in with Kero in tow. Gourry gasped.

"Whoa InuYasha's sword is so big! It used to be old and rusty…" Kero's eyes widened.

"That energy… coming from his sword… that's the power of Jupiter!" Kero leaped forward and landed on InuYasha's shoulder. InuYasha turned to his shoulder and his eyes bugged.

"What the hell? It's another evil cute thing!!!" He yelled… "Get away!" Kero got up to InuYasha's ear and whispered… 

"InuYasha…" he said, "Say… "Jupiter Star Power Make-over!" InuYasha reached up to his ear and grabbed the yellow creature… then proceeded to squish him in between his fingers. 

"What… Jupiter Star Power Makeover… shut up!" InuYasha's ears twitched as strange music began to waft through the room… and he felt himself begin to spin. "What the hell. Why am I spinning… I hate spinning… it makes me dizzy…" He blinked… "Where did my clothes go… hey these aren't my clothes… what the heck… why am I wearing a fuku… what's with these shoes… I hate pointy shoes… they hurt…aggh my ears hurt…" he felt, "Aghh my ears aren't pierced… get those out of my ears… why am I wearing two earrings… gay guys do that. Put my hair back down… why is it up… it feels stupid… this is stupid… I hate this!" InuYasha rambled. He looked down to his sword and noted that it had, in fact transformed into a small green scepter with a symbol on top. "AGHHH what happened to my sword… It was so big before… it shrunk… it's tiny… it's not even a sword… it's sparkly!" InuYasha gasped for breath.

"Are you done yet…?" Zel approached him and asked. InuYasha noted that Gourry, Zel, and Tasuki were all dressed similar to him.

"What… you put me in these clothes so I would join your stupid girly club… Gourry you were trying to put the moves on me weren't you?? All that monkey talk… you were flirting with me weren't you Gourry? Don't think I don't know the connotations of the word 'monkey'… you fruit!"

"Huh?" Gourry responded.

"Well I'll tell you what… I don't be a part of your drag club! I don't care what you guys think… I-AIN'T-GAY!" 

Zel sighed. "Look InuYasha… we'll explain it to you later… just… we have to defeat the evil giant hamster okay?"

"I'm not helping you…" He growled. 

Tasuki blinked. "Well don't you want to save that broad over there?" InuYasha crouched into his typical sitting position.

"I'm not going to help until I am back in my normal clothes… and when I know I don't have to be involved in your fruit club!" 

Gourry smiled and approached the disgruntled new recruit. "Ooh… you dropped this InuYasha," he held up the pink bunny… "You should save Kagome… your bunny is sad because you won't do it just because you are in a skirt. Your bunny says that doesn't matter and you should save her anyway," Gourry said plopping the bunny onto InuYasha's head.

InuYasha glared up at him. "Oh so you can talk to the bunny now?" 

"Oh no the bunny talks to me!" Gourry nodded. 

"… Right." Using the Puuchuus distraction Kagome was trying to escape by crawling across the floor until she was almost directly behind InuYasha. She had managed to get the gag loose enough and spit it out. 

"InuYasha… you shouldn't sit like that in a skirt… you can see right up the backside." InuYasha went wide eyed and blushed, and quickly pulled down his skirt as much as possible and stood up. Tasuki couldn't help but point and laugh. 

"What are you doing looking at my ass?" he yelled over in her direction. Before Kagome had a chance to answer the Puuchuus noticed their escaped sacrifice and quickly dragged her away. "Kagome!" InuYasha screamed. InuYasha stood up completely and handed the bunny to Gourry. "Hold this…" Gourry just nodded and began to play with the bunny.

"InuYasha!" she said as she was being dragged off. "They're going to feed me to the Hamtaro." InuYasha looked up and saw the ferociously cute creature… it's enormous eyes woobling. InuYasha glanced quickly at the creature… "There's something weird about those eyes…" he said to himself and looked over to Zel and Tasuki, their eyes seemed to be strangely glassed over and they seemed to be in some kind of trance…. As they stared at the giant rodent. 

"Hamtarooo…" Zel and Tasuki said in monotone, "We live but to serve you…" InuYasha gasped. 

"Those fruity guys are being hypnotized by the hamster's eyes!" Gourry meanwhile, just stood there talking to the bunny. 

"What?? You mean I shouldn't look up… just keep my head down and don't look at the cute thing? Okay Mr. Bunny!" InuYasha made a note not to look in the Hamster's eyes.

"Okay so if I go for the eyes… I can get him. But what am I supposed to do with this stupid stick…!" He glared at the scepter and noted that the Puuchuus were only seconds away from reaching Hamtaro…with their sacrifice, Kagome. "Kagome!" he yelled again. "What the hell am I supposed to do?" he thought for a moment… "Oh! Jupiter Supreme Thunder!" he yelled and pointed the scepter at the Hamtaro's enormous eyes, careful not to look and get caught up in its hypnosis. A bolt of thunder streamed out of the scepter and straight into the creatures eyes.

"AGHHHH!" it yelled cutely and closed its eyes in pain therefore breaking the spell on Zel and Tasuki… and the Puuchuus. 

"Puuchuu!" they all said and began to walk off. InuYasha blinked.

"It looks like the Puuchuus were under the spell as well… those wands are actually futon beaters… and they thank us for helping them." InuYasha stated.

"How do you know what they are sayin?" Tasuki asked.

"Feh… Hell if I know. Probably because of those radioactive waves that got in my brain from the Styrofoam in the microwave…" Gourry stopped playing with the bunny for a moment.

"Ohh that makes sense!" Gourry responded and went back to the bunny. Zel twitched, walked over and pried the bunny from the blonde's arms. 

"The hamster is still alive… will you take care of this?" Zel growled. Gourry nodded, and began to pose ridiculously. 

"Moon Gorgeous Meditation!" Gourry said… a ray of sparkling rainbow power shot out of his scepter and hit the Hamtaro in the stomach… instantly causing it to begin to vaporize.

"It can't be!!!" The Hamtaro yelled as it turned to dust. When the dust cleared Gourry smiled.

"Yay we won!" Gourry said. He handed the bunny back to InuYasha. "Here's your bunny back InuYasha… we couldn't have won without it!" InuYasha took the bunny and distanced himself from Gourry a bit.

"Why am I still in a skirt?" he asked. No one answered and InuYasha turned around and noted that Kagome was still tied up. Ignoring the skirt for a moment he went over and quickly untied her. 

"Uhhh thanks… InuYasha," she said with a blush. "Why did you save me?" InuYasha looked away. 

"Keh, If I didn't save you than I wouldn't ever be able to get a chance to beat you at DDR." He shrugged. Kagome smiled a bit. 

"I see… well thank you. As a token of my appreciation I promise to keep this whole thing secret… okay?" InuYasha nodded. 

"You should probably get home Kagome… your brother was really worried about you." 

Kagome gasped. "Oh, that's right! He's the only one at the arcade now… I better get back. I'm not sure he can handle it by himself!" There was a silence for a moment.

"Umm aren't you weirded out by all this?" he asked. 

Kagome laughed lightly. "Well actually… I work at an arcade… we get so many weirdoes there. Especially when they hosted that anime convention across the street from us last month… so after seeing a forty year old man dressed as a magical girl… this just doesn't freak me out much." InuYasha crinkled his nose.

"Ewwww…"

"Well I better be off now… thank you so much InuYasha!" She reached over and gently hugged him. InuYasha returned the hug slightly and pulled away.

"Uhhh bye Kagome." He said with a faint blush as she walked off. Once Kagome was safely gone Tasuki grinned.

"Oooh InuYasha's got a girlfriend…!" Tasuki yelled.

"Shut up!"

"No InuYasha's girlfriend is dead, she was killed by a rabid monkey!" Gourry put in. Zel smacked his forehead.

"Gourry what did I tell you about talking about monkeys…!" Zel grumbled.

"Oh sorry… primates," Gourry corrected. Zel just sweat dropped.

"Hey wait a minute… would someone please explain this skirt thing. I still don't want to be in this fruit club… and I'm getting really pissed!" He glanced down at his skirt, "And where are my clothes!?"

****

Sailor Bish Sez!

"Ahem… due to last episodes rather annoying Sailor Bish Sez session… we have decided that Gourry will not be allowed to do this one… and since I don't even want to know what InuYasha would ramble about… We have decided to let Sailor Mars step in for this session… although this will probably be stupid too." Zel grumbled. Tasuki grinned.

"Ah Zel! You're so funny… You know what… I was watching country music awards. They had a bunch of idiots for Judges… I mean come on… George Strait over Tim Mcgraw? That's just stupid! Even Clint Black's better than George Strait! And Tim Mcgraw did that duet with Faith Hill… she's hot! He's so lucky…" 

"Uhh Tasuki… that's enough," Zel cut him off. "That's enough… I think I may have to resort to just letting Kero and I do all the Sailor Moon Sez things." 

****

Next Time On Sailor Bish

Love is in the air this spring as the Sailor Senshi come across a new ally… and perhaps a new scout… as the cherry blossoms fall on Tokyo. Hearts will be melting and love will abound… Sailor Bish has never been this beautiful (and sparkly!)

Come be pierced with the arrow of true love.

****

NEXT TIME

"Ai Shiteru… Sailor Bish"

You will truly "love" this episode. 

Once again scribed by KellyChan with much assistance by Jennie Starwind.

Fanart for Episode Two by Jennie

http://www.mediaminer.org/fanart/view.php?id=127019

Lovely reviewers!

Everkewl- Our fellow fruit nut… thank you for the review… it's not like I can say anything to you that I haven't said already…. Ummm everyone… go read everkewls fics!

Narrator- Reading stuff at fanfiiction.net at the library is not always a good idea… ^^ Gourry monkey obsession is fun huh? (So I have this terrible amusement with a villian that is completely serious yet runs around in a monkey pelt… ^^;;;;)

Rune Rune- The ZelAme-ness shall appear later… but it will be a while! Tasuki has girl… he just avoids her like the plague… (see part two with random annoying chick coming to the shrine!) ^^

Bethany (Robochars…) what is with you and mormons?

Minimerc- ^^;; I'm not telling you **who** all the scouts are, but the only DB char in this is Master Roshi… and I don't think he will ever actually appear… as for the Gboys… making them scouts… too predictable ^^ 


	5. Romance Enters in a Swirl of Sakura

Author's Notes-

We wrote 18 pages of this fic the other day… but didn't feel it smart to post it all in one big chunk… so it's three parts now. XD Anyway… expect Ai Shiteru Sailor Bish parts two and three in the next couple days. And Review ^___^

**Narrator-** Ah… No Sesshoumaru is not a Sailor Scout… but he does have a role later on as a Villain… the HFWS love Fluffy so of course he will not escape the torture… ::snerk::****

**Rune-Rune-** Amelia isn't Gary… and alas she won't be showing up for a while… the person we actually cast her as does not have a relationship with Mercury in the series… but we can take artistic liscense. ::grin::

**Mynuet-** Pants rock… and as far as Inu's sword… that's pretty much exactly how it happens in the show… now isn't it? XD

**DS-** Thanks for the extensive compliments… Yup the Z/A ness shall come… ^^

**Minimerc-** Well…. None of the current Sailor Bishes are actually fruity.

**ECK-** Well I suppose that a nightmare about Hamtaro is better than a certain bishounen offering you milk…

**Moro-** Thanks for your ever constant reviews. I love yah.

Episode 5- Part One "Ai Shiteru- Sailor Bish" "Romance Enters in a Swirl of Sakura" 

"Next time on "Sailor Luv Luv… Will the power of Suzaku be able to unify these two loving hearts for all eternity? Can they prove that love is the strongest force in the universe? Tune in Next…"

            "All right guys…" InuYasha stormed into the room and flipped off the TV angrily.

            "Ahhh InuYasha… I was watching that," Gourry said as he munched on a pickle, he looked down into the jar he was eating from. "And I'm almost out of pickles…" 

            "You can watch the stupid show later… you guys need to explain why the hell I was wearing a skirt????!!!" The room fell quiet, the silence only punctuated by Tasuki munching on a Frito chip and Zel sighing and muttering something along the lines of "Why me…." under his breath.  

            "I guess… you're in our sparkly club that randomly saves people…" Gourry said with a shrug. 

            "I don't want to sparkle!" InuYasha yelled. Zel sighed and put his forehead in his hands. 

            "It's something about destiny and past lives I think," He grumbled, "Of course it's no wonder my past incarnation died if all they had to protect themselves was bubbles!" 

            "Just think of it this way InuYasha…" Tasuki said slapping his knee, "Yah get to do all kinds of neato attacks and get kick ass powers!"

            "But I could already kick ass before this!" InuYasha replied angrily.

            "Oh you're just upset because you don't have a flaming fan!" Tasuki laughed. 

            "Well I can kick your ass without a fan!" InuYasha approached the red head and spat in his face.

            "Oh yah bring it on bunny boy!" Tasuki smirked. InuYasha looked down to his hands, he indeed still held the pink bunny in one of his arms. 

            "Shut up you stupid hick!" InuYasha said and struck out his fist to aim for Tasuki's face. Tasuki blinked, and dodged to avoid the incoming impact…. But it never hit. "Ooooowwww!!!!" He heard InuYasha yelp. Tasuki looked up to see Zel standing in front of him… and InuYasha holding his fist with a look of pained anger. "Dammit I think you broke my hand!"

"It's probably because he's made of rock!" Tasuki noted. Zel just sighed and glared at Tasuki. "Ah don't be so down… it's just a joke ya know!" 

            "Whatever… You'll be fine InuYasha… now would you two shut up and stop fighting? You're giving me a headache." Zel crossed his arms. "Now sit down InuYasha…" The white haired boy grumbled to himself and sat down, still holding his throbbing hand. "I'll explain this whole issue as best I can…"

            "Well hurry up!" InuYasha spat. 

            "We aren't quite sure why… but for some reason we are all cursed to wear Sailor Fuku and fight evil…. Or something like that. There's supposedly more of us out there… And we have to find them…" Zel finished. 

            "So why should I agree to do this!" InuYasha asked forcefully.

            "I honestly don't know…" Zel replied. InuYasha swore under his breath then gasped when the cute yellow mouse with wings from earlier leaped into his arms. 

            "It's your preordained destiny!" Kero said firmly. InuYasha picked up Kero and pulled at his front two legs… stretching him a bit. 

            "It's my destiny to save the world?" Kero nodded and tried to squeeze out of InuYasha's grasp. "Why should I listen to a talking stuffed toy?" Gourry looked over to InuYasha. 

            "Oh! Kero isn't stuffed… this is!" Gourry said and began stretching a pillow from the couch… "Oops," He squeaked when it burst open scattering white downy feathers.

            "I'm telling you… it's destiny!" Kero said, and finally managed to writhe out of InuYasha's grasp.

            "Feh--- Destiny is stupid!" InuYasha replied as feathers from the busted pillow wafted by. Zel glanced up at the clock. 

            "Guys we have school tomorrow… You need to head out, we can continue discussing us and our involvement with the destiny of earth and mankind tomorrow…" Zel said casually and began ushering the three scouts out the door. Kero leaped off InuYasha's lap and landed on Zel's head. 

            "Indeed… I shall see you tomorrow!" Kero said. Zelgadiss reached to swat the creature off his head but the he leaped onto Gourry's shoulder in time to avoid his hands. 

            "Night InuYasha… Zelgadiss… Tasuki… sleep well!" Gourry said with a smile as he walked out the door. Tasuki and InuYasha glared at each other quickly before making their way out the door themselves. Zel sighed as he closed the door behind them.

            "Why me…" He mumbled as he leaned against the closed door and locked it.

**The Next Day…. At School!**

            "English class is stupid!" InuYasha yelled as he exited Miss Ryuzaki's classroom. Gourry smiled.

            "Oh! I'm good at English," He piped up, "I can help you sometime!" 

            "I don't need help!" InuYasha replied quickly. Zelgadiss stood between them.

            "Be quiet you two… if we want to discuss this destiny thing with Kero… He said to meet him at the Sakura blossom tree on the west side of the school…" InuYasha blinked.

            "What the hell are you talking about… there are no cherry blossom trees there!" He spat and looked out the window… and immediately did a double take. "How did that get there… there was no tree yesterday…" 

            "Maybe it's an illusion created by… one of those people that make illusions!" Gourry reasoned. 

            "Or maybe we just haven't noticed it before…." Zel replied with a sigh. "In any case, let's go down and meet Kero." 

            "Whatever…" InuYasha grumbled as Sakura petals wafted by outside the window. Zelgadiss began to make his way to the stairs leading outside, Gourry and InuYasha following behind. The chimera opened the door upon reaching the bottom of the stairs and blinked. 

            "Who is that…"? He said gesturing toward a tall dark man standing under the tree… he was silently rolling a blossom in his hand, and seemed to almost… sparkle. The other two just shook their heads, and continued to make their way out to the tree. Zelgadiss put his head in his hands and sighed, following after. "No way we can have a meeting with Kero with a random guy at the tree…" 

            "Ah Zel… perk up… maybe he is one of those "destiny" people Kero keeps mentioning," Gourry said with a nod. 

            "You mean another person to join your fruit club?" InuYasha asked. 

            "Yah…!" He replied as they reached the tree. The man standing under it looked up with a glint in his deep amethyst colored eyes. 

            "Hi… I'm Tamahome…" He said with a sparkle, his deep teal locks flowing in the breeze. 

            "Ooooooh!" Gourry said in awe. Tamahome beamed.

            "You three must be Gourry Gabriev, Zelgadiss Greywords, and InuYasha… I uhh can't remember your last name." He looked around… InuYasha blinked.

            "Yah… how do you know who we are!" He sneezed and swatted a Sakura petal away from his nose. 

            "Oh are you allergic to cherry blossoms. "That's unfortunate…. Cherry blossom trees are such a wonderful place to discover one's true love…" InuYasha twitched, and Zelgadiss stepped in front of him.

            "How do you know us?" The chimera asked simply. Tamahome shrugged.

            "I was told to come here… I guess I am supposed to be one of you," He replied with a shimmer. Gourry nodded.

            "Of course you are… you already sparkle!" He said with admiaration.

"Why thank you… Now… hmm… What exactly do I do, I returned to Japan to fight for love… but there isn't anything to fight…" He looked around. InuYasha flinched.

            "You moron! We're at school… now where's that stupid Kero thing?" Tamahome smiled lightly.

            "Oh you mean him?" He asked as he touched the front pocket of his shirt, a little yellow head peeked out and smiled. pocket of his shirt, a little yellow head peeked out and smiled.

            "Hello you guys! I'm glad you found the tree!" Kero said excitedly.

            "The tree that wasn't here yesterday…" InuYasha grumbled. 

            "It's an illusion!" Gourry put in. InuYasha covered his mouth and sneezed once again.

            "If it's an illusion… why is it making me sneeze?" He snapped back. 

            "Actually I…" Tamahome started.

            "Well maybe it's just a strong illusion!" Gourry reasoned. InuYasha glared.

            "Actually I just planted it here… well paid to have it moved here… I had a lot of money from my job, and decided that the school I was going to be attending needed a place for lovers to confess their feelings." InuYasha and Zelgadiss just stared. 

            "Is there any relevance to this meeting Kero?" Zelgadiss asked. Kero nodded.

            "Of course… I would not make us meet for a trivial reason… this is Tamahome… as he mentioned before…. And he is the fifth senshi, no doubt about it." Tamahome grinned and held up a small orange scepter.

            "I guess I'm Sailor Venus…" He said with a shrug. 

            "How do you already know…?" Gourry asked.

            "Venus is the planet of love…" Tamahome said simply. InuYasha just rolled his eyes. 

            "Figures…" Zelgadiss grumbled. Tamahome nodded. 

            "That's the only thing I…." 

            "Look… do you have any other purpose except showing up and planting trees here that make me sneeze… If you really want to be in the fruit club… I'd be happy to have you take my place!" InuYasha yelled. Tamahome grinned.

            "Well of course, I have a purpose… I'm the new senshi… Now if you don't mind, is there not supposed to be another one of you?" 

            "Tasuki is the other one…" Zelgadiss replied, "But he goes to the school near Mt. Liekaku." 

            "Oh," Tamahome nodded, "Well you must take me to meet him," He finished with a gleam. Kero nodded from his pocket. 

            "You three are finished with classes for the day right?" They nodded. "Well we can take Tamahome to see Sailor Mars now!" Kero said firmly. 

            "But I have work to do…" Zelgadiss mumbled. 

            "Work can wait… you'll have time later! Being a Senshi is important!" Kero replied. "Now hustle up… let's make it to Mt. Liekaku as soon as possible." The four of them sighed, but Tamahome smiled. 

            "Yes let's go… I'm excited!"

_Sailor Bish Sez!_

_insert sparkle sound effects and love bubbles as Tamahome enters the room_

"Hi I'm Tamahome… the Sailor Scout of love. If you didn't know already the love of my life… the reason my heart keeps beating, the one that brings light to my darkest days… is my one and only beloved Miaka. Miaka is amazing… she's the most exquisite woman in the universe…. She has long chestnut hair the color of cinnamon sprinkled upon the sweetest of pastries… And her eyes sparkle brilliant hazel, you can look in her eyes and see everything… they're like an endless pool of…"

"Tamahome," Zelgadiss stormed into the room. 

"Uhh yes?" He replied innocently.

"No more Sailor Bish sez for you!"

"But Zelgadiss I want to tell the world of my lovely Miaka…!"

"You can tell them later… but not in this…" Tamahome pouted and Zelgadiss sighed. "Why do I keep letting other people do this again?" 

Next Time on "Sailor Bish!" 

When Mr. Love himself comes across the other senshi's respective female friends, he decides there is not enough love in the air… and he needs to make something happen. And when they're getting ready for a dinner that is sure to be a disaster… they get a little distracted. 

New Cast Members this chapter- Tamahome from "Fushigi Yuugi"


	6. Tamahome Aims Cupid's Arrow

A.N.- Hello all! Thanks for all your reviews this chapter… *____* Anyway… this chapter features a lesser known character as a villain… his name is Jakotsu and he is from the latter InuYasha Anime and manga episodes. Since he is not as well known, we thought we should give you a bit of background info. A member of the shichinin-tai- a seven membered mercenary army of ruthless killers resurrected by Naraku. Jakotsu is the openly gay member who takes a particular liking to InuYasha, but doesn't let that stop him from making comments on the other males of the series. Anyway… we know he is a lesser known one… but we love him and couldn't resist using him XD 

If you want to see a picture of Jakotsu to get an idea… as well as Jennie's art for chapters 3-4 (yes that means InuYasha crouching in a skirt…) go to the HFWS ff.net profile (at the top of your browser ^^) We have it linked there. FF.net will not let us hyperlink in this document at all… -_-… so check there… eheheh

Well due to Jakotsu's gay-ness, this chapter and the next will be a little more ecchi than some of the previous… than again… this story is about guys in little skirts is sure to be ecchi XD

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To The Narrator- Ah be patient… we still have some scouts to introduce before Sesshoumaru appears as a villain. As far as the sap… brace yourself for more. ::sweatdrop:: I mean… I'm the one who wrote it and I fear the sap. XD!

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Minimerc- We promise Zel will get to use the bubbles soon…. kukukukukuku

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Sailor Bish

"Ai Shiteru- Sailor Bish"

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Part Two- Tamahome Aims Cupid's Arrow

The group walked along the streets of Tokyo silently- InuYasha and Zelgadiss both glaring at Tamahome and Kero every once in a while, and Gourry just smiling and singing to himself.

"Three little monkeys jumping on the bed… one fell off and broke his head…" He sung quietly. Zelgadiss narrowed his eyes at him, "Eerr sorry Zelgadiss, primates." Zelgadiss just sighed, too annoyed with everything to care. Gourry glanced at the stores as they passed by them. "Oh there's BuyoMark Arcade!" He said excitedly. "You think we can go in and play a game…" 

"No…" Zelgadiss replied simply. 

"Feh- Why would I want to go in there?" InuYasha snapped, but jumped back when he saw a familiar figure exit the arcade. 

"InuYasha!" Kagome said excitedly as she slung her yellow backpack over her shoulder. 

"Hi Kagome…" He replied. Kagome approached him and grinned. 

"What are you doing around here?" She asked. InuYasha scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Just taking a walk…" He made up. Kagome glanced around and noted the presence of the other boys she had seen the other night… when InuYasha rescued her. 

"Well it's nice seeing you again…" She said and looked down at her feet. InuYasha blushed lightly.

"Yah… well I better get going… See you later…" He replied. Tamahome glanced up at Kagome and InuYasha and smiled.

"Are those two together?" Tamahome leaned over to Zelgadiss and asked. 

"No… not really…" He replied with a shrug. Tamahome grinned.

"Well they should be… it's obvious how much they care about each other…" He said with a sparkle. Zelgadiss shrugged. Tamahome made his way up to the two of them and looked to InuYasha… "InuYasha!" He whispered in his ear, "Why don't you invite Kagome to come to Mt. Liekaku with us… after we meet up with Tasuki you two can…"

"No way!" InuYasha interrupted, "Just because you insist people confess their feelings under stupid trees, doesn't mean you get to play matchmaker for me with some random chick!" Kagome blinked…. Having heard what they both said. 

"Just some random chick… huh?" She shook her head angrily, "Well I think I'll take up the offer… I would love to come along with you guys." She grinned rather smugly. InuYasha blanched, than turned a light shade of red. 

"Uhh… don't you work?" He asked.

"Nope… I'm off tonight, I just dropped by the arcade to help one of the other employee's install a new machine really quick," Kagome replied. InuYasha sighed.

"Fine… Let's go." Gourry smiled knowingly at InuYasha and they began to walk toward Mt. Liekaku once again, now with Kagome along.

"You know…" Gourry said as he approached Kagome. "InuYasha still has his pink bunny…" Kagome smiled and glanced over to InuYasha who was walking beside her. 

"Shove it Gourry!" He snapped. Kagome giggled. Tamahome looked back to the couple behind them and smiled. 

"You two remind me of Miaka and I when we first met… but you know…" 

"Oh look… Zenny's!" Gourry pointed out. 

"We are not stopping to eat…" Zelgadiss said pointedly. Gourry looked down to his stomach. 

"But my tummy is growling…." 

"We aren't eating…" 

"But…"

"No…"

"Please?" Gourry pleaded. Kagome jogged up next to Gourry and unzipped her bag. 

"Will this help?" She asked perkily as she handed Gourry a bag of potato chips. Zelgadiss snorted.

"Not likely… that might fill him up for about fifteen seconds…" Kagome shrugged and looked over to Gourry… who had indeed already finished the entire bag.

"Ehh???" She eeked in disbelief and sweat dropped. "Well uuhh I have some more… does anyone else want some chips?" Zelgadiss and Tamahome shook their head in the negative… "InuYasha…?" He shrugged and took the bag he offered her.

"Sure… why not." InuYasha said as he ripped open the bag and began to munch on the salty morsels. Kagome glanced over to Gourry… who was currently trying to scrape tiny crumbs and bits of salt from the bottom of the bag. 

"Wow he really is hungry… I can't believe…" 

"Move out… I'm coming through!" Said a loud voice, the door to Zenny's slammed open and a petite redhead emerged, carrying at least twenty bags and boxes of food. Gourry blinked and licked a bit of salt from his finger as he looked up from his bag.

"Oi Lina!" He yelled, but not before Lina lost her balance and ran smack into the blonde schoolboy. Gourry gasped and caught the falling boxes… careful not to damage Lina's precious Cargo. Gourry smiled once he had successfully caught all of the boxes, "Wouldn't want to damage your snack!" Lina looked at him… a light blush spreading across her cheeks. "Course… I suppose it wouldn't be as bad as losing a dinner…" Tamahome glanced over to Lina and Gourry…

"Wow… she has an appetite just like Miaka…" He said to Zelgadiss. "Are those two going out?" 

"No… not really," Zelgadiss replied. 

"Well they should be! It's obvious how much they care about each other!" Tamahome made his way over to the couple and whispered in Gourry's ear. "Why don't you invite Lina along with us… then you two can…" 

"Huh?" Gourry interrupted. "Hey Lina… you wanna come along with us to Mt. Liekaku… we can go get some dinner afterwards." Lina shrugged.

"Sure… whatever… If it gets me a free meal." Lina glanced over to Gourry. "But I wanna eat my snack first…" She said taking the top box from the pile. Zelgadiss groaned as she opened it up… pulling out an order of cheese sticks and shoving them in her mouth. Kagome glanced over to InuYasha.

"This is going to be awhile huh?" She asked. He looked up from his bag of potato chips.

"Not if she eats as fast as Gourry…" They sighed and looked up to Lina… who was indeed… about a third of the way done. Tamahome smiled. 

"Those two are so perfect for each other…" He trailed off. Zelgadiss looked over the supposed scout of love and raised an eyebrow.

"You're the guy from "Sailor Luv Luv" right?" Tamahome nodded.

"Yes… I am… and Miaka is my costar… and the real life love of my life as well…" He smiled. "I came over here from England to attend classes and become a scout… but Miaka and I write letters to each other every day… as well as sending emails and talking on the phone for ten hours a night…" Zelgadiss just blinked. 

"That's… kind of sad…" He replied. Tamahome shook his head.

"No it's not… when you're in love… you'll do anything for whoever she is!" Zelgadiss rolled his eyes. 

"Is Lina done yet?" He asked and averted his eyes to her. She was rubbing her stomach and taking the last bites of a chicken leg… about twenty empty boxes littered the ground around her. Everyone just gaped.

"All right!" She pumped her fist and tossed the chicken bone… "I'm ready to go!" InuYasha and Kagome were still staring in disbelief.

"You eat too much!" InuYasha stated simply. Lina glared at him fire in her eyes. 

"I'm a growing girl… what are you trying to say!" She yelled. Kagome grabbed InuYasha's arm and pulled him away from the explosive red head. 

"Let's all just go…" Zelgadiss sighed. Gourry nodded and looked over to Lina motioning her to follow. Lina muttered something under her breath and scurried up to the rest of the group… standing next to Gourry. The group continued on their way… until they finally reached the stairs leading to the Mt. Liekaku Turtle Shrine. 

"Ah… so we're finally here…" Tamahome stretched his arms as he reached the top of the stairs. Zelgadiss noticed that Tamahome was still sparkling… despite the setting sun, and was slightly disturbed by that fact. InuYasha's ears twitched as he picked up the discussions going on inside the shrine. 

"So ya just think ya can come in here and turn off my TNN so you can watch your stupid game shows…. Just because your cable is out… I ain't gonna stand for this!" Tasuki yelled. InuYasha winced and held his hands over his ears… as an ear splitting laugh then echoed throughout the shrine. 

"Wha…?" Gourry asked and winced… along with the rest of the group. Kagome looked up and noticed birds scattering from the roof of the shrine and quickly flying away. 

"What could possibly be making that horrific sound?" Zel asked. InuYasha twitched. 

"I don't know… but if it doesn't stop… I'm going to go deaf!" He yelled over the laughter. 

"Rekka shinnen!" They heard Tasuki's voice yell from inside the house…. The laughter stopped and the entire group sighed in relief. 

"Well come on… let's get this over with as soon as we can," Zelgadiss said and ushered the rest of the group to follow him. The group nodded and scurried after him… Gourry glanced behind him and noticed Lina lagging behind with a horrified look on her face. 

"Aren't you coming Lina?" Gourry asked. 

"I—I—I have stuff to do… so I'm gonna get going…!" Lina said and turned tail to leave. Gourry looked at her cluelessly. 

"I thought we were gonna go get dinner afterwards…?" 

"Well Gourry… not that dinner sounds bad, but I really don't want to run into a certain person that's nearby… so I'm gonna head out…" 

"But Lina…" Gourry was interrupted by the sound of a door barging open and the same earth-shattering laugh that had terrified the group only moments before. Lina paled as an enormously well endowed high school girl emerged from the shrine, flipping her long black hair confidently over her shoulder. 

"Long time no see… Lina Inverse!" She laughed. InuYasha clamped his hands over his ears tighter and glared at the woman. 

"Stop laughing now… or I'm gonna…" 

"InuYasha," Tamahome interrupted, "You know you can't hit girls!" InuYasha fixed the teal haired boy a deadly gaze.

"I don't know what that thing is… but it is _not_ a girl," He yelled. Gourry scratched his chin.

"Uuuh maybe we should transform?" He asked. 

"I don't think that will be necessary," Zelgadiss said with a sigh and pointed to the porch, Tasuki stood next to the woman with fan in hand… 

"Naga… dammit that's enough!" He yelled, "Rekka shinnen!" 

"Urgh…." Naga said as she received the brunt of the flames.

"Yay… she should be crispy fer a moment at least!" Tasuki said triumphantly. Lina perked up a bit, over the temporary shock.

"Figures I would run into her again… damn I thought I ditched her," The redheaded girl sighed. Kagome blinked and walked over to her. 

"You okay Lina…" She said concerned. Lina nodded.

"Let's just get out of here before she decides to follow me." Kagome shook her head in response. 

"Not such a bad idea…" 

"Where's Gourry?" Lina asked. Kagome glanced over to see Gourry reaching in her yellow bag. He pulled out something and zipped it up. 

"That was the last of my potato chips…" Kagome said with a sigh. Gourry made his way over to Lina and smiled, handing her the bag. Lina blushed lightly and took the chips from him… opening them up quickly, and eating them with like there was no tomorrow. 

"Thanks Gourry…" She said with her mouth full. 

"No problem Lina!" Gourry replied casually. Tamahome averted his eyes to Tasuki and Naga on the porch. 

"You know… those two fight just like Miaka and I did at first…" He said to Zelgadiss. "Are they going out?" 

"No… most definitely not," Zelgadiss replied quickly. 

"Ah… well they should be, it's obvious how much they care about each other," Tamahome grinned.

"What the hell are you talking about… Tasuki wants to kill…" 

"Nonsense," Tamahome interrupted, "Some of the most loving relationships start off like this." He shrugged and made his way over to Tasuki, leaning over and whispering in his ear. "Why don't you invite Naga along with us… then you two can…" Tasuki twitched and raised his fan towards Tamahome. 

"You die now sparkle boy!" Tasuki said with flames in his eyes. Tamahome eeked and dodged as Tasuki prepared the fan. The violet-eyed boy narrowly missed dodging the fan and received a face full of flames. Zelgadiss glanced up and sighed as he watched the two boys brawl pointlessly… he was also disturbed to notice that Tamahome was still sparkling… despite his rather extra crispy appearance. Naga smirked.

"Hohohoho I would be more than happy to come along… after all, I haven't seen my Junior High school rival… Lina Inverse… for years!" Lina paled. 

"She looks exactly the same as she did three years ago believe it or not," She whispered to Kagome. The dark haired schoolgirl tweaked.

"That is kind of scary…." Kagome said quietly. Lina nodded, and they both glanced up at the boys. "You guys ready to go?" She asked. The five boys nodded in the positive and began to quickly follow after the girls… groaning when Naga caught up to Tasuki and stood by him with her arm wrapped around his shoulder. The redheaded boy got a dangerous look in his eyes. 

"Tasuki… not now… you can kill her later," Zelgadiss said firmly. 

The sun continued to set as they made their way down Mt. Liekaku… the respective couples Tamahome had designated walked beside each other. Two of the couples did so willingly, but the male of the third couple was being held in a death grasp around the shoulder. Tamahome grinned widely. "Can't you just feel the love in the air Zelgadiss?"

"Shut up Tamahome," He replied calmly. Tamahome frowned.

"Don't worry Zelgadiss, you'll find your true love someday!" The scout of love said confidently.

"I don't want a true love… I just want a cure…" Zel twitched. "In fact… why am I even here… They're on a date of some sorts and…."

"But Zelgadiss! The only thing better than being in love yourself, is observing the blossoming affections between people you care about!"

"Shut your face Tamahome… You're making my headache worse." Zelgadiss sighed as they reached the bottom of the mountain. Tamahome smiled to himself. _Poor Zelgadiss… I hope he finds his true love soon. He needs to perk up. _InuYasha looked to Kagome, cleared his throat, and blushed a bit.

"Uhh Kagome." 

"I sense evil… again!" Kero interrupted as he peeked out of Tamahome's pocket. The group turned quickly around, but InuYasha ignored Kero. _Like I care, _he thought…_ I'm not doing any fruit club activities ever again. _InuYasha cleared his throat and blushed once again… 

"Uhhh… Kagome…"

"**CUTIE!!!!!!!**" An effeminate voice squealed. InuYasha paled and looked around in a horrified state of disbelief. 

"Oh no… Oh no… It can't be… AHHH!!!!" He yelled as he scooted behind Kagome, peeking out every few seconds to see if his worst suspicion was confirmed. Kagome looked around… 

"Ehh what's the matter InuYasha?" She asked. He got ready to open his mouth when Kagome was shoved out of the way and he found himself being ferociously tackle glomped. 

"Jakotsu what the hell???" InuYasha said as he tried to squeeze out of his grasp. 

"Oooh InuYasha…" He said as he cuddled the terrified white haired boy, "I missed you so much… why did you have to transfer…" 

"I transferred because of you…."

"It's been twenty four days, seven hours, two minutes, and thirty one seconds since I last laid my eyes on your gorgeous physique…" Jakotsu sighed. The seven remaining members of the group looked on in astonishment.

"Oh… so I guess that is why he actually transferred from his old school," Zel said matter-o-factly. Gourry scratched his chin.

"So this squealy guy owns a rabid monkey?" Zelgadiss twitched and smacked Gourry.

"Don't you dare start that again!" He spat. Gourry rubbed his cheek where the chimera had smacked him.

"Ow… don't do that until you get your cure Zel!" 

"Don't go there either…" Zelgadiss said threateningly and then sighed, "Damn you Rezo." 

"Someone help me… HELP!!!" InuYasha yelled as Jakotsu cuddled him a bit closer… "Help me now… Oh shit… he's about to go down my pants… HELP!!!" Jakotsu giggled. 

"Oh… don't worry InuYasha… if you're a virgin, I'll go easy on you." InuYasha froze for a moment processing what Jakotsu had just said.

"Shit Hell No!!! Aghhhh!" InuYasha struggled further and pulled Jakotsu's hand away from his crotch.

"Uhh… shouldn't someone help him?" Gourry asked casually. InuYasha breathed heavily as he finally managed to pry Jakotsu's questing hands from his body. He quickly stood up and got in a defensive position. Jakotsu sighed.

"Oooh you make me want you even more when you play hard to get like that." InuYasha twitched and ran over to Kagome. He quickly grasped her hand and glared at Jakotsu. 

"If you haven't noticed… this is Kagome… a female I am with…" InuYasha averted his eyes to Kagome and back to Jakotsu. "Yes… a chick… and we are going somewhere… without you!!" Jakotsu pouted.

"You really shouldn't waste your time with such filth…" Inuyasha instinctively reached to where his sword used to be hilted, only to remember that it had turned into a sparkly wand. He raised his fists, just about to attack when he noticed the point of large curved sword at his throat. 

"What in the…."

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Sailor Bish Sez-

"Today was the stupidest day of my entire life! First I had to go to school… and go to stupid English class… and then I had to meet this stupid sappy guy under stupid trees that make me sneeze. If that wasn't bad enough that stupid cheese ball Sailor Venus… tried to hook me up with Kagome… how many times do I have to say… All I want to do is beat her at DDR! And then it got even more traumatizing… the terror of my days decided to come back and molest me! I am so pissed… this is **beyond** stupid!"

"InuYasha… I would say this whole rant was stupid, but I think you have said it enough for the both of us… for the next five years," Zelgadiss sighed.

"Shut up!" InuYasha yelled.

"Next time I will surely do _Sailor Bish_ sez!" Zelgadiss said firmly.

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Next Time on Sailor Bish!

Our heroes have found themselves in a perilous situation, the new villain seems to be putting up a serious fight… so now they must join forces once again… to save Tokyo and to keep Jakotsu out of InuYasha's pants…. Errr skirt.


	7. Love is in the Air

Before we begin this installment of "Sailor Bish"

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All right Author's Notes-

This chapter features Jakotsu once again, along with Bankotsu of the Shichinin-tai in a minor role as well. Bankotsu is the leader of the seven-member army, and is very close to Jakotsu. He's an excellent fighter and wields a huge sword called _Banryuu_ He's got a bit of a childish streak to him and loves sake… but when it's time to battle, he becomes a formidable fighter. 

He also bears a strange resemblance to an older version of "Gundam Wing's" Duo Maxwell… ^^;;

Since Fanfiction.Net is evil… and won't let us link in a document, you can go to our profile to for a link to a pic of him, as well as a pic of Jakotsu's sword the _Jakotsutou, _which is sort of hard to explain… so a visual may help. ::Kicks FF.Net::

And Now Notes To Reviewers

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Rune-Rune- Not telling if Zel actually does get to do Sailor Bish Sez… You're right, the guy needs a girl… but once again the person we cast Amelia as doesn't show up for quite a while. 

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Narrator- Well you could always check out the manga translations. XD Jakotsu is pretty overt when he does encounter InuYasha… and he is what one would call a "sadomasochist." He isn't quite as "clingy" as he is in here I would say… but ::shrug:: He is quite an interesting character… and a lot of fun… Plus he has his own little opinions on all the main males of InuYasha. XD Nothing really happens between Jakotsu and Kikyou (Kikyou spends a lot of time with Suikotsu, another member however) Kikyou is not really the same kind of "dead" as Jakotsu, Jakotsu is a resurrected Zombie. Shikon shards are keeping Jakotsu and the rest of the Shichinin-tai alive, but Kikyou is a bit different… being the earth and bones creation she is of course, not even a flesh and blood body… Jakotsu _hates _women however… and as for Kagome… she's wide eyed and shocked when Jakotsu shows up… but then again… so is everyone else in the gang. ::ends ramble:: The sparkles shall dissipate a bit after this chapter… after the sparkly finale of course! And thanks for the Tasuki/Naga compliment… I feel sorry for Tasuki though… -_- Anyway… I stuck some pics of Jakotsu squealing and IY and Miroku's reactions to it in the SB 7 pics page… (link on our profile of course…) So there ya go Narrator… LOL Enjoy.

And to the other reviewers… **Robochar**, **ECK**, **Minimerc** and **Digi-Riven**… Arigatou!

"Ai Shiteru- Sailor Bish"

Part Three

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Love is in the Air

"You really shouldn't waste your time with such filth…" Inuyasha instinctively reached to where his sword used to be hilted, only to remember that it had turned into a sparkly wand. He raised his fists, just about to attack when he noticed the point of large curved sword at his throat. 

"What in the…."

The taller, dark-haired man pulled the sleeve of his pink patterned shirt slightly up on his shoulder as he pressed the tip of the blade into the flesh, drawing a small amount of blood.

"What do you want…?" InuYasha asked. 

"Well I've come to get your heart crystals… they are supposed to give you powers so you can take over the world and all that villainy stuff…" Jakotsu smirked. "By the way InuYasha… have you gotten sexier?" 

InuYasha twitched and pushed Kagome in the direction of the others, whispering quietly, "Run." Tamahome sparkled as he watched InuYasha gallantly offering himself to the apparent villain so Kagome could flee to safety.

"Oh he's sacrificing himself for true love! What a beautifully noble cause!" Zel just glared at the glittering teal haired teenager. 

__

Actually Jakotsu thought to himself as Tamahome rambled _I'm just doing this because I want to make all the sexy men in the world into my personal zombie slaves,_ a smirk spread across his face as he imagined thousands of hot naked men serving his every whim. Lina darted her eyes around frantically, realizing that her alter ego would likely soon be needed, she looked to Kagome and… then rather reluctantly to Naga. 

"I'll get the girls out of here!" She said as an excuse to the group. Lina grabbed Kagome and Naga by their arms and pulled them away from the scene and into a nearby alleyway. Jakotsu looked to the remaining members of the group and smirked. 

"Hmmm… well I guess I can go after those heart crystals now." Jakotsu glanced down at his blade, which was still being held firmly against InuYasha's throat. He pulled the blade slightly away, towards himself then with a flick of his wrist swung it amidst the remaining five. Rubble and dust erupted from the unseen force that just cut a line into concrete, and an almost inaudible 'clink' was heard as he held the sword over his shoulders. Zelgadiss just blinked.

"This is getting serious… I guess we're going to have to transform." Tamahome beamed.

"Yes! I haven't fought for love for so long!" Zel shook his head.

"Who said we were fighting for love Tamahome…" Zelgadiss said as he pulled out his scepter. "Mercury Star Power Makeover!" The chimera said in a rather monotone voice. Tasuki flipped his scepter out of his pocket and transformed as well, and turned to Gourry who quickly completed his transformation… Tamahome smiled widely as he looked to his orange scepter. 

"All right! I'm ready… Venus Star Power Makeover!" Tamahome twisted his scepter and sparkled like no other… completing the transformation with a beaming smile. Gourry just blinked.

"Why did he get to sparkle more than me?" The blonde asked.

"Most likely because he already sparkled quite a bit," Zelgadiss reasoned then sighed when he looked up to InuYasha. "You need to transform as well InuYasha…" 

"Hell no, I'm not transforming… I can fight without wearing a skirt!" He snapped in reply. Zelgadiss sighed.

"I don't know how… it's not like you have a sword anymore." 

"Shut up… I can still manage!" Zelgadiss just sighed. Tamahome on the other hand approached InuYasha with a disappointed look on his face.

"And here I thought you were such a passionate fighter… when you sacrificed yourself for Kagome like that… It riveted me so much that I felt my heart skip a beat…You showed me InuYasha… that you truly have a heart of gold…" Tamahome smiled. "So just go out there and give it your all… just like you did with Kag…"

"Shut up now! You spin cheese better than anyone I've ever met… and that's not a compliment!" Tamahome just blinked.

"Just like you did with Kagome… Sometimes you have to do things you don't enjoy for the one you love but I promise in the end it will…"

"OK! If I do it will you promise to shut your trap for the rest of the night." Tamahome gleamed.

"I would be willing to make that sacrifice if you would fight to save your true…" 

"Shut up now, I'm doing it!" He sighed and picked up the wand, "This is so stupid… Jupiter Star Power Makeover!" InuYasha completed his requisite routine of spinning sparkling and posing and then went to stand with the other senshi. "There I transformed are you happy now!?" Zel rolled his eyes.

"Oh yes overjoyed…" 

"Hey ya'll…" Tasuki said as he smacked his fan into his hands. "The villain is just standing there…" 

"Hmmm he must have been waiting for us to transform…" Zelgadiss contemplated. Jakotsu just giggled.

"Actually… I'm just staring at InuYasha's ass in that cute little skirt," He paused, "And damn is it a good ass!" 

"I don't want you looking, touching, or thinking about any part of my anatomy!" InuYasha yelled. Jakotsu just grinned. 

"Who said that's all I'm going to do to you sweetie," Jakotsu said rather seductively. Gourry noticed InuYasha's horrified expression and looked to Kero.

"I should be giving a justice speech about right now… shouldn't I?" Kero nodded. "All right!" He ran over in front of Jakotsu and struck a pose, legs slightly apart and finger pointed at the Villain. "You pink shirt wearing villain, you shall not be laying a hand on InuYasha or anything around him… because in the name of the moon… I will protect InuYasha's virginity!" InuYasha sweat dropped.

"I think I can protect my own virginity!" 

"You're right Gourry," Tamahome said firmly, "Not only that, but this man is after our dearest heart crystals… that which gives us the power to love those around us so strongly!" Jakotsu just shrugged. 

"Hmmm… InuYasha as cute as you look in that fuku… you would look even better out of it," He whipped out his sword once again, "I'll rip off your clothes you magnificent piece of man." InuYasha looked positively mortified. Jakotsu licked his lips… "I'm gonna eat you all up Inu…Yasha." 

"Okay that's enough of that!" Zelgadiss interrupted. "I guess I'll use my damn bubbles!" He grumbled. "Mercury aqua bubbles!" The chimera said as he spread his hands apart, releasing a stream of glittering blue bubbles. Jakotsu simply popped the bubbles as they reached him. 

"For a hard man like you…" He looked to Zelgadiss, "You have such a soft attack." Zelgadiss twitched.

"It's not my fault…!" Zelgadiss looked to Tasuki… "What are you…?" The redhead was in fact, rolling on the ground with laughter. 

"Ya call that an attack… hell my Granpa's turtle can do better than that!" Tasuki continued to crack up. InuYasha just stared in amused disbelief.

"That's the stupidest, most pointless attack I have ever seen!" 

"InuYasha… Tasuki… shut up. If you can do better… do so now!" Zelgadiss spat. "It's not like bubbles were my attack by choice." Tamahome sighed. 

"I bet they'll be stronger once he finds a true love… with the power of love coursing through his veins he can…" 

"And you just shut your hole and watch… We'll call on you if we need you Tamahome," Zelgadiss said with a glare. 

"Well I guess it's my turn now…" Tasuki cracked his knuckles and approached Jakotsu. The effeminate warrior swung out his sword once again and Tasuki just grinned. "Rekka Shinnen!" He yelled. Once again the unseen movement coming from the blade of the sword was able to quickly extinguish the fires coming out from the steel fan. Jakotsu had an amused smile on his face. 

"Oh well you're hot in more than ways than one aren't you handsome?" Tasuki paled a bit and backed away. InuYasha stood on the sidelines impatiently. 

"Dammit! Let me at him… I should be the one to defeat this fruitcake!" He stormed over, and glared down at the stick in his hands. 

"You gonna give it a try now, cutie?" InuYasha muttered to himself. 

"Stupid sparkly stick, this better work…Jupiter Supreme Thunder!"

With that, a lightening beam went forth at the same time a movement from the blade of Jakotsu's sword counterattacked. The lightening wrapped itself around the full length of the deadly weapon, revealing that it was actually a chain of swords linked together being used so quickly it was until now unseen. Gourry pounded his fist into his hand.

"I see now! The chain of swords is hidden in the main blade until used in a quick motion that's unable to be seen by the naked eye. What a powerful sword." Zel raised an eyebrow and grumbled. 

"Oh, so you know about monkeys _and_ swords. Well that's a great source of knowledge to have, Gourry…"

"But monkeys and swords are fun!"

InuYasha looked triumphantly at the disbelieving Jakotsu before him. 

"How'd you like that?"

"Oooh you gave me quite a shock there, you exquisite personification of all that is divine." Jakotsu licked his lips, and proceeded to go about recoiling his sword. "But I shall not be defeated so easily."

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that!" The green-sailor fuku wearing boy held his sparkly wand out and was about to launch another attack when a voice stopped him.

"Hey! Jakotsu, I got the last level 5 Deathscythe model!" A slightly tanned man with a long black braid swinging behind him called out as he approached. He saw the battle scene before him, and poutingly tugged at Jakotsu's sleeve. "You started killing people without me?! You promised you'd wait for me to get here."

"But no one's dead yet…" He replied soothingly. "You can help now, okay?"

"Okay!" The man said happily as he walked over and placed his toy store purchase a safe distance from the battle area.

"This one will be easy," Zel remarked to Tamahome, "He's acting more childish than the other." The braided man returned, his face displaying a smirk of confidence and a large sword leaned up against his shoulder. 

"Well, he sure has a big sword there…" The teal-haired love warrior remarked with sparkles still floating about him.

"Yeah, it's bigger than InuYasha's was the other day!" Gourry added.

"Feh! It's not like I wanted my sword to shrink into this little stick!"

"Uh…guys…" Tasuki said pointing at the two advancing on them with swords poised and ready, "I think they're gettin' ready to brawl with us…."

"Bankotsu, you ready to get some heart crystals?" Jakotsu asked with a smirk.

"You bet! I want that power too." He said thinking to himself what he was planning to use it for. _Once I have them, the power they posses can get me and Jakotsu thousands of servants to serve us sake, and…I'll finally be able to get that level 162 Deathscythe model that comes with the Duo Maxwell cosplay!_

With that pleasant future in mind, he twirled the sword nimbly amidst his fingers, as easily as one might twirl a baton, and sliced right between Zel and Tamahome. They both jumped aside just in time, as the other Seishi were working to avoid Jakotsu's attacks. Tamahome darted his eyes around. "Guys… I haven't used my attack! I shall make full use of the power and love… and defeat these two evildoers." The four other scouts sweat dropped as Tamahome made his way to the two armed warriors. "Venus Love…" Tamahome paused… _Is it circle or encompass? Hmmm encompass sounds like a more love fulfilling attack. It must be that. _He grinned. "Venus love chain Encompass!" Tamahome gasped as floods of sparkles, love bubbles, feathers, and sakura petals streamed out of his scepter… "This must be it!" He smiled as it rained shoujo elements. "Wait a second…" He looked up to the sky… "Is that?" The orange clad scout's eyes widened as a firework went off only about twenty feet from the ground, He covered his ears at the "boom" the explosion made. 

****

Meanwhile!

Kagome glanced around the alleyway. "I wonder where Lina went… she left a couple minutes ago, but I'm kind of worried about her… something just exploded." She averted her eyes to Naga. "_I _am going to check on Lina… I'll be back in a bit." The well- endowed girl nodded.

"And I… Naga shall go check on my dearest Tasuki!" Kagome nodded and walked to the left, the direction she had seen Lina go, and Naga just made her way back to where the battle had begun. 

"Oh wow… I got rid of her," Kagome said relieved. "Now to find Lina--- wha… who is that?" She asked herself when she saw a caped figure darting through the alleyway. "Hmm… I wonder what they're doing." Curiosity got the best of her and she silently followed the figure, the dark cape blended in with the nighttime alleyway, but Kagome followed the streak of orange-red that appeared to be the figure's long loose hair. 

****

Back at the Battlefield

InuYasha sneezed and swatted a sakura petal away from his face, the rain of sparkles and other such items had not ceased and everyone on the battlefield seemed highly confused. InuYasha glanced up and saw Kagome and a read headed girl in a Tuxedo and top hat running onto the battlefield. "Kagome!" He yelled and sneezed again. The dark haired schoolgirl approached him, concerned with his sudden bout of sneezing. 

"InuYasha are you okay?" Kagome asked. InuYasha nodded and blinked, feeling a little light headed…

"I uhh… Oh my little stove cooked ramen cup… why did you come here it's so dangerous!" Kagome just stared.

"Ehhh???" InuYasha wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her to him in a deep embrace. 

"Don't worry my love… now that you are here I will protect you with my life. I cannot live without you… you're the bag of potato chips when my stomach is growling… You are my everything!" Kagome just blinked.

"I have got to be dreaming…" Gourry on the other hand, glanced up at the other figure. 

"Oi… Tuxedo Fireball over here!" The red headed girl came over to the odango wearing boy. 

"Sailor Jellyfish?" She questioned as she approached him, wondering if he needed assistance. She was then surprised to find him gently clutching her hand and placing a hand upon her cheek.

"My fiery vixen, my little pickle…you have come to me…."

Lina flushed bright red, yet tried to pry her self away from him. "Idiot, what are you talking about?!"

"Your eyes are the color of radiant rubies, how I wish I could see more of your gorgeous face, my love…"  
"Love?!" She blanched, face turning as red as said eyes at the thought.

"Please, let me see your face…" He said tugging at the edge of the mask.

__

Uh oh, That's not good…Lina frantically thought, not wanting her identity revealed in this current situation. "Uh…Sailor Jellyfish, are you feeling okay?"

"I am now that you have graced me with your mysterious presence."

Lina started to back away from him, but it didn't hinder his advances.

****

Meanwhile…semi-nearby

The two villains were now also feeling the effects of the strange emanating sap, their swords clattered to the ground as a large amount of feathers wafted by.

"Bankotsu…" The slightly taller of the two said as he gently tugged at his partner's braid. "Why don't we go somewhere else and play?"

"Okay…" He replied breathlessly, as he was swept up into Jakotsu's arms and promptly carried off and away from the battlefield. 

****

Now back to the other sap-effected characters

"Tasuki dear!" A loud voice boomed across the battlefield. Tasuki turned to the approaching figure and smiled, a sparkle in his eye. 

"My home baked chicken fried steak!" Tasuki ran to Naga and wrapped his arms around her tall womanly figure. Naga looked mildly surprised but then began to laugh.

"Hohoho I knew you would come to your senses someday Tasuki… I Naga am truly the one for you!" Tasuki smiled as he cuddled her… laying his head in her enormous bosom.

"Did anyone ever tell you… your laugh is like a melodious fiddle… comparable to the beautiful voice of Faith Hill." Naga grinned.

"Ohoho finally someone appreciates my elegant womanly laugh!" 

"Oh I do… and your knockers are like two pumpkins fresh from the patch… Oh Naga… you are the one for me…!" Tasuki smiled contently and nuzzled further into her bosom. Two people remained uncoupled on the battlefield. The sailor scout of love… and the scout of water glanced over at each other shyly. 

"You know… Zelgadiss, You look kind of cute in that fuku…" Tamahome said tentatively. Zel grinned. 

"Really… and you look absolutely…" He paused… "What am I Aghhh! Be---beautiful tonight… your uhhh," Zelgadiss continued to fight the effects of the sudden wave of instant romance. "Your teal hair is shining like the deep blue ocean on a moonlit night… and your startling amethyst eyes… I just want to gaze in them always…" Zel shook his head. "Why am I talking like you… you… handsome warrior… you're like a knight in shining armor!" Tamahome blushed. 

"You're so sweet… Did anyone ever tell you… your hair sparkles like pure diamonds on a starlit winter's night…" Zelgadiss smiled and took Tamahome's face in his hands. 

"Oh Tamahome… Ai shiteru!" Tamahome sparkled even more so than usual as he leaned over to Zelgadiss and whispered in his ear.

"And you… my koibito… Ai shiteru… Itsumo!" Zelgadiss glanced to Tamahome and got a wicked grin on his face.

"Forget my cure Tamahome… I only want you!" He said passionately and pinned Tamahome down his hands holding the warrior of love's arms down above his head. 

****

Sakura Petals Waft by… AKA… a transition

"Kagome…" InuYasha whispered in her ear. Kagome just looked very confused. 

"InuYasha… are you sure you're okay?" She managed to get out. He ran his hand through her long ebony locks. 

"I'm okay… now that I'm with you." The silver haired scout leaned his head onto her shoulder. "Kagome…" He paused. "I want to do more than beat you at DDR…" Kagome blushed crimson. 

"Now… Uhh… come on!" InuYasha put a finger to the stunned girl's lips to shush her up. 

"Just be quiet my love…" He said gently and leaned in closer, his lips brushing hers. 

****

Elegant White Feathers Drift By… Another Transition

"I understand you have your secret identity, but no matter who you are I will love you forever and ever….My beloved, Tuxedo Fireball…." Gourry said dipping her petite figure onto the ground below him, her hat toppling off.

"Now just a minute here!" She protested, as his hands once again went to the mask on her face.

"Your enflamed tendrils of hair are so beautiful…I must see your face under that mask…."

"What about the villains!"

"Huh?" Gourry said, snapped free of the sap-inducing trance. He looked back to where the two sword-bearing opponents had once stood to find it deserted. "I guess they left…"

"And what are you doing ontop of me?!" Lina said pushing him off her and snatching up the hat, shoving it back on her head. "Idiot…what's wrong with you anyways?!"

"What happened? Did I do something wrong?" Lina twitched for a moment and then quickly smacked Gourry upside the head.

"I guess your pea sized… sorry pickle sized brain already forgot!" Gourry grinned.

"Oh I love pickles!" Lina shook her head.

"That doesn't mean you have to call me one!" 

"I called you a pickle… I must have been really hungry." Lina ran a hand down her face.

"Jellyfish… you're hopeless." Gourry glanced around him.

"Oh look… the sparkles are starting to go away…" The blonde said with a sigh, "Too bad… I liked the sparkles." 

****

Nearby… Love bubbles dissipated to reveal

Kagome leaned a bit further into the kiss and closed her eyes… finally giving into the nice feel of his lips on hers. _This isn't so bad… _She thought and opened her eyes abruptly when she felt a slight shift in their position, InuYasha stood there with his eyes wide open… _What the hell???? _He thought and quickly pulled out of the kiss. "InuYasha?" Kagome asked her cheeks flushed bright red.

"Uhh… I—ugh," He muttered… "Eehe… Why am I suddenly hungry for Ramen?" Kagome eeked. 

"Uhh uhh…" 

"Or at least a bag of potato chips… my stomach is growling." Kagome just stared. 

"Uhh… You know just called me your little stove cooked ramen cup… for some strange unknown reason…" InuYasha looked confused.

"That's stupid… why would I call you food… Why would I want to eat you?" Kagome turned a shade redder… until she resembled an apple.

"I uhh… I don't know… but you called me that… said some other sappy stuff… and then you kissed me…. And you also said you wanted to do more than play DDR with me!" InuYasha turned bright crimson and turned away from her. 

"What are you talking about… I can't remember anything!?" Kagome just shrugged. 

"Well…" She whispered and took her arm in his, "It was kind of nice…" InuYasha blushed a shade darker and didn't respond. He averted his eyes and saw another senshi lodged in a certain woman's voluptuous chest and began cracking up. Kagome blinked. "Ehhh what's so funny?" She glanced over in the direction he was looking. "Oh… wow… how did that happen… Poor guy." Tasuki finally managed to pull his head out of the two mounds and looked around horrified.

"Why the hell am I here?" The redhead pulled out his fan and flamed the first thing nearby…Naga in this case. The tall girl fell over in a crispy heap on the ground. 

"Tasuki what are you doing… you called me your chicken fried steak!!" Tasuki looked at her, eyes full of anger and embarrassment.

"I _hate_ chicken fried steak!" Tasuki yelled. A small yellow creature ran across the battlefield and leaped onto Gourry's shoulder.

"I think the instigator of this whole incident is in need of some assistance!" Kero said urgently. Gourry fixed him a clueless glance. "Oi Fireball do you know what he's talking about?" He looked over beside him… "Where did she go?" The blonde scratched his head. Kero just sighed.

"The instigator of this whole thing was Tamahome… like you when you first transformed, he screwed up the wording on one of his attacks… and this catastrophe occurred… it appears it simply made you all act like ridiculous saps."

"Oooh so it made us act like Tamahome!" Gourry said in sudden realization. Kero nodded in the positive.

"Basically… yes." The yellow creature sighed. InuYasha walked over to Gourry, popping a remaining love bubble on the way. 

"Stupid bubbles…" He mumbled, "Are we done here?" Gourry just shrugged and they both jumped back when Tasuki ran to them in a panic… hiding behind the two scouts. 

"InuYasha… Gourry… Hide me Dammit… That broad can't know I'm here when she revives!" It was then that Naga awoke. As a horrendous laugh echoed across the battlefield, the remaining "couple" began to snap out of their trance. Zelgadiss' eyes bulged and he pulled his hand out from under Tamahome's skirt like he had touched a hot stove. 

"Please don't tell me my hand was about to go down those briefs…" Zelgadiss managed to get out. Tamahome said nothing, and just pulled his skirt down with a mortified look on his face. "Let's never speak of this to anyone…" 

"I promise not to, as long as you don't say anything to Miaka!" Tamahome sputtered. 

"I would never want to relive the memory of what I just woke up to… I won't tell a soul… in fact I will never tell myself it happened again." The two of them quickly stood up and brushed off their fuku. Kero made his way over to Tamahome and perched on his shoulder. 

"Tamahome… I have something to speak to you about later, regarding tonight's events." Tamahome eeked… he did not want to discuss those events. Gourry glanced around the group. 

"Hey guys, I'm kind of hungry… You guys wanna go to Zenny's?" The group nodded. "Uhh we need to change back…" 

The five senshi, Kagome, and… Naga made their way down the well-lit streets of nighttime Tokyo, making their way to the nearest Zenny's. Gourry sighed to himself. _I wonder where Lina went…_ He thought, stopping when a certain red head tapped on his shoulder. "Lina! There you are!" 

"Hey… did you finish the battle with those two random guys okay?" Gourry smiled.

"Yah… it was sparkly!" 

"Well… I'm glad you won," Lina replied as she pulled on the sweater she was wearing. Gourry nodded.

"Me too…" He looked up and saw the Zenny's sign glowing yellow in the distance. "Lina… you wanna come eat with us… unless you already ate dinner." Lina shook her head in the negative.

"I haven't eaten for hours… Let's go!" Lina grinned and joined the group, and they continued on their way. Kagome looked over to InuYasha once they were walking again. 

"Uh… InuYasha… you wanted to say something to me before Jakotsu glomped you," She sighed, "What was it?" InuYasha shrugged and took a hand and delicately ran his fingers through her hair. Kagome blushed brightly. 

"I just wanted to tell you," He paused as Tamahome looked on hopefully, "you had a string in your hair…" InuYasha finished as he held up a green string. Kagome and Tamahome sighed, disappointed.

"Oh… it must have come off my uniform." She shrugged. The group turned a corner and quickly noticed that they had lost a member. Gourry glanced back and saw Zelgadiss walking in the other direction.

"Oi Zel! Aren't you going to come eat with us?" Gourry asked. The chimera fixed him a deadly glare. 

"I'm just going home…" 

"But why?" Gourry looked at him disappointed.

"I woke up with my hand where it did not belong… I'm not elaborating on that!" He said as he continued to walk away. Gourry shrugged.

"His loss… Let's hurry up and get to the restaurant!" 

****

Sailor Bish Sez!

Hello out there all of you cuties… I'm Jakotsu and I'm here to explain to you… the proper way to judge a male physique. Let's start with Zelgadiss. Hmmm he's kind of cute… but way too angsty for me… He is nice and hard though. Now Tasuki…. I like his fire… but… he's just too much of a… how do I put this simply… hmmm a hick maybe? Tamahome is too sparkly and I'm the one who is supposed to sparkle in a relationship. Then there's Gourry… I know I like my men naïve… but he is just _too_ naïve. Now there's Bankotsu… he has a really big sword. Not only that, but that slight tan just makes him look even sexier. And then there is my dearest cutie… InuYasha…."

Somewhere… we aren't sure where, but nearby InuYasha sneezes, and feels a cold chill run down his spine. 

"Anyway so InuYasha… Not only does he have those adorable little ears and those exquisite amber eyes… And then his manly…." Jakotsu smirked.

"All right why is a villain doing "Sailor Bish" sez?" Zelgadiss yelled as he stormed into the room. Jakotsu looked up innocently.

"But… I just wanted the world to know of InuYasha's strong hard…."

"Shut up!" Zelgadiss twitched, "Next time… no one is going to stop me from doing this!" 

****

Next Time on Sailor Bish

A young boy appears from the future… To find that his parents have still not gotten together… He decides he doesn't really care… They'll hook up eventually… He's just pissed because he has to wear pink.

Oh yah… and there's that destiny stuff again.

Next Episode!

Enter: A Mysterious Boy From the Future!


End file.
